poetry critical

online poetry workshop

water and start to float up

how i fly

a bell.  a ball.
          out but this description does ring
        that my legs are straight
i dont recall
          water and start to float up.
        and mentally tred
i just stand
i dont know how
i take off,
i only know that i have, so
                      fully high!  
                  my altitude.  
                unable to control
              sometimes like a balloon  
            but i am
          it always works.  
        somehow, and
i simply try,
        of how
i am unsure
i do this
i am afraid
i might suddenly drop.
so frightening outside
        but so fun within when
i am limited
          or hallway. then
        by the ceiling of a room
i dont worry.
i dont have far to drop.
        many times.
i have jumped from garages
        the only one that can do it, so
i think myself
            after all,
          are not impressed.  
        those near me
i am surprised
            gasp and point?
          why dont you
        your empirical wish.
i am floating!
i can glide beside you too.
             on a skateboard,
           as if stepping
        then gracefully,
i walk steadily forward,
            in my dreams
          i believe
i float smoothly
          and now
im the best.  
ive discovered a secret,
im terribly satisfied.
i tell you people that
im very good
        at flying in my dreams

21 Aug 04

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (0): 10

(define the words in this poem)
(161 more poems by this author)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


its also a paragraph
 — gnormal

Line 35 disrupts the flow.
 — OKcomputer

think i fixed it
 — gnormal

i like this. i like the way the last stanza finishes it. but, using apostrophes would make it much prettier.
 — aerol


meet me out back
 — unknown

something's wrong
 — zazza

i will come back to this. i like the shape but that's all i've seen for now. i'll read this when i feel like a fun poem. (or shapes.)
 — listen

Newest (expand)
Recently Commented (expand)
Recent Best (expand)