poetry critical

online poetry workshop



pea poems
gnormal

heavy hand/heart
 1
hold heart/hands
 2
 
 
-
 3
 
 
five fish float
 4
fresh flowers
 5
 
 
-
 6
 
 
sew snow: sky
 7
sew sand: stone
 8
sew small: seeds
 9
 
 
-
 10
 
 
wife washes
 11
we walk
 12
warm water
 13
 
 
-
 14
 
 
     rain
 15
    roots
 16
   river
 17
  red road
 18
 
 
-
 19
 
 
long lake lies
 20
leaf laughs
 21
 
 
-
 22
 
 
narrow nose nears
 23
new neck
 24
 
 
-
 25
 
 
two tails
 26
three tongues
 27
think thin ties
 28

peas from 207 words.
http://www.quicktopic.com/27/H/pqFtryeUJdKH
couldnt resist...

3 Jul 04

Rated 8 (6.5) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 5, 8

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Comments:

Vintage gnormal here.

I really wanted to see how you would approach the word limit;  to me, the most interesting part of reading people's entries was seeing how they approached the word limit.  Needless to say, no one really did anything close to what you're doing here.

I especially like stanzas 3, 5 and the last one, but I don't think this would feel complete if you hadn't included as many as you did.  Love the title, too.  As many others have pointed out again and again, you have terrific instincts about your poems.  I am sure I am not the only one here envious of that.

-root
 — unknown

Nice.  Simple, yet complex.  A good combo.
 — FemmeInLA

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