poetry critical

online poetry workshop

The Music and We

Behind closed eyes of different shades our minds remain the same,
Nothing else will ever change.
It will be just You and Me, until the music and we, stop dancing.
Under moonlit skies of the utmost cliché painting, we live,
While the radio leeks sounds from the painted-on house.
And you dry my eyes after letting color drip onto the wall,
As we both close ours and stare through eyelids.
“I hope we still see each other when we open them.” You said.
And I agreed, hoping just the same.
But my tears washed the radio to a brown blended river of paint across the street.
And the sound faded away.
Then the streetlight went dark, but I still knew You were there.
We no longer dreamed to stare at black,
But now all we saw was white.
I said, “I’m sorry for my tears, I…”
And we disappeared.

10 May 04

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all i can say is i think you have ALOT on your heart and ur mind but keep it up its pretty good.
 — unknown

This is really very good. I like how you related it to a painting. It was a little hard to follow at times, but that could just be my tired eyes. I love it...keep writing.
 — azalea

damn. this is so odd. i ahvent read any by you that i dont like. most unusual. i think i might as well add you to my favourites.
 — wendz

Really weird, but awesome. I love reading it and it gives me a weird feeling, but i love it.
 — unknown

 — dream

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