poetry critical

online poetry workshop

Monday: A Tyburn

melancholy… moody, lousy, late
Misunderstood—murky; maybe hate.

A six line poem consisting of 2, 2, 2, 2, 9, 9 syllables.  The first four lines rhyme and are all descriptive words. The last two lines rhyme and incorporate the first, second, third, and fourth lines as the 5th through 8th syllables.

7 May 04

Rated 6.3 (6.5) by 3 users.
Active (3): 4, 7, 8
Inactive (1): 6

(define the words in this poem)
(133 more poems by this author)

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Hey... Someone rate me, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
 — aforbing

What would you call this type of poem? Does it have a specific name, I mean.

... uh, I'm not sure what to rate it. >>
 — Rixes

This poem is a "TYBURN"... thus the explanation.
 — aforbing

I see.
 — Rixes

It sounds great. I'm not very experienced with this type of poem, so I'm sure I can't offer any suggestions.
 — OKcomputer

How is maybe a descriptive word? You may have incorporated the first four lines in the last two but the last two make very little sense as written.
 — unknown

i like parts of this.  not a huge tyburn fan... somewhat limiting.
but i like how L5 clarifies 'melancholy'
and how L6 shows you don't understand your own response to being misunderstood
the punctuation/capitalization could certainly be refined
as requested, i will rate...
 — mwalkerd

Your form is incorrect; as the descriptive words used in line 5 & 6 must be in the order in which they appear in line 1-4.
 — unknown

 — unknown

wow ur poem is boring
 — unknown

this poem sucks, but i'm using it for my anthology anyways
 — unknown

^^^What exactly do you think the above "unknown" meant?
I'm a bit alarmed.....
 — aforbing

mmmm! coincidence perhaps.
 — unknown

 — unknown

melancholy-moody, lonely

I hope that's helpful. I couldn't think up anything else so I just left spaces.
 — unknown

Wow!  I am sitting here reading this after I just got done jacking off.  Fuck, I just cummed on my keys, I g2g clean this up off my boxers.  Later~
 — unknown

Dude, I can't sto being horny!! What can I do to stop being so damn horny, because, I cannot keep out my hands from under my boxers.  I just keep massaging my hard cock, and then I end up jacking off until I cum.  I am soooo horny!!  God, I just wanna cyber, or watch some porn with my friends who I think are hot. I'm not gay, but it turns me on to the fact that my guy friends feel good.  I think you guys know what I'm saying.  It's just such a turn on when you jack off with your guy friends, or watch them change, or get a boner, or grab themselves sometimes isn't it!  Sometimes you catch yourself looking at your buddy's cock or boner or somethin, dont you?
 — unknown

If this rhymed you'd be on to something. 4/10
 — Henry

yo u wunt belive dis i am fukin a gurl rite now uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put it innnnnnn suk itttttttttttttttttttttttt rub it
 — unknown

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