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The Gaian
C

Silent as a native,
 1
I go.
 2
Ego, silent
 3
as a native.
 4
I go
 5
silently respecting
 6
ear, skin,
 7
and kin.
 8
I do
 9
my best not to crack
 10
a leaf, or break
 11
a branch.
 12
I ride the silent
 13
air around
 14
my body-
 15
the planet
 16
spins in harmony
 17
with quiet moon.
 18

5 May 04

Rated 10 (9.3) by 3 users.
Active (3): 10, 10, 10
Inactive (2): 7, 8

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Comments:

This one I like MUCH better, it flows, it feels more complete. The form feels distracting though, what about something like this:

Silent as a native. I go.
Ego, silent as a native.
I go silently respecting
ear, and skin, and kin.

I do my best
not to crack a leaf,
or break a branch.

I ride the silent air
around my body,
my planet- she lives
in harmony
with quiet moon.

Something like that I think would emphasize a little more strongly some of the visuals you've written of, and flow a little better. Just my 2 cents.
 — Greg

?
 — C

Thank you for your comments Greg. I placed a ? because I am hoping for another good comment after nearly a year without one. (It's been edited a little but the form feels good to me.)
 — C

this is spectacular.  wow.
 — themolly

Perfect from beginning to end.
 — Hear

Thank you.
 — C

i like the native you capture well -  
 — crepaway

very nice.
 — Estrella

like a spirit, lifted by love and respect.  this is beautiful.
 — mwalkerd

Right on! Thank you. Pretty great comment.
 — C

Thank you others also.
 — C

This was my random poem this morning.  
What a calming piece to waken to,  ethereal and soothing; reminds me of my brother, the humanitarian; myself and my children, learning how we blend and learn in life, together, striving for harmony.
Very beautiful words,
Jen-
 — jenakajoffer

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