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You Were Never There
ihateyou

You were never there to wipe my tears
 1
You were never there to fight my fears
 2
You were never there to kiss me goodnight
 3
And we never got in a father daughter fight.
 4
 
 
You were never there to teach me how to tie my shoe
 5
You were never there to tell me “I Love You”
 6
You were never there to yell at me
 7
And all the pain and hurt you didn’t see
 8
 
 
You were never there to see me smile
 9
You were never there, how is your life worthwhile?
 10
How can you live knowing you have a daughter you never claimed?
 11
With all the broken-promises to call and visit on mom you blamed.
 12
 
 
But somehow I manage to love you anyways
 13
Because no matter what you’ll be my father forever and always
 14
And that is something I can never change!
 15

27 Apr 04

Rated 3.5 (4) by 2 users.
Active (2): 2, 5
Inactive (4): 1, 4, 5, 7

(define the words in this poem)
(6 more poems by this author)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)
CrazyInLove
jesussgurl



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Comments:

nice poetry.
don't give up!
you can't know who might read and be inspired to work on reconnection...
 — unknown

This is great!!wow... no words can describe how good this is!
 — CrazyInLove

superb!
 — kimado

superb? 10? great?? Okay if this is the level of poetry that is getting rated as 10 now, obviously this site has now become very *beginner*. No offense meant to ihateyou (nice name) but please come on, this is so elementary. I am just shaking my head in disbelief.
 — unknown

thanks everyone for the comments towards my poems...i got more to add but i will only let me add so many at a time and no offense taken unknown.
 — ihateyou

This poem has a lot of emotions in it; but it just needs a better way to express them.
 — Hmm

thanks but i really dont kno how else to express it so could u give me some tips?
 — ihateyou

My first suggestion is get rid of the excessive repetition, which gives a serious subject a childish sing-song quality and is also to be blunt, annoying to read. 2nd it sounds like you are trying too hard to rhyme and some of the rhymes seem forced. Shoe, singular to rhyme with you. claimed/blamed. The use of anyways is fine for a casual email but in poetry it screams 'I'm not serious and/or VeRy young', and again I suppose to rhyme with 'always'?. The line rhythms do not match which also throws off the flow of the poem.

Those are just my thoughts on this poem, which I agree is a strong emotion and goos subject but needs work to flow as a concise poem.
 — warsager

Lines 12-15 are prehaps just kept for you, it works better without those I think. Maybe try for the lovely lullaby rhythm of the other lines without quite the degree of rhyme you have here.
 — unknown

apologies - 'are perhaps'
 — unknown

I like it, it reminds me of a friend I have.  Simplistic, perhaps, but written with feeling
 — unknown

"Also"?

You "Also" wrote this poem for your dad?

I'm a bit confused.
 — OKcomputer

hmm.

this makes me think of austin powers' "Daddy wasn't There."

I'm sorry. I couldn't help but say it.

the rhymes seem somewhat forced, though.
 — shakeit

Until I saw the endnote, I thought this was about a woman and an older, more experienced love interest.  Perhaps a sugar-daddy, as it were.  The postscript limits the possibilities & thereby makes the text not quite so rich.  
 — unknown

Who is to say the father could not also be a sugar daddy?
 — ersaph

i like this alot... ist really good....
 — unknown

i love this poem, it describes your's and your faher's relationship, which is the same as mine and my so called "father"
 — jesussgurl

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