poetry critical

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You think we are always trying to hurt you or think up a way to hurt you.
Or we are trying to steal.
Maybe youthink we are colleting pennies because we are so selfesh.
]Maybe if look at a jew you would say where are the horns.
Your always saying the jews are so bad
you shouldn't be friends with them they might hurt you
You would say don't even go near a jew because if you do they might get you.

3 Feb 04

Rated 10 (1) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (7): 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1

(define the words in this poem)
(1 more poem by this author)

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i hope its not controversial to say this sucks but this sucks. wow, yeah.. really bad.  
Actually, i keep reading this and im starting to get embarrased that im missing something.. cos it surely cant be that bad..  sorry to go on...
 — mightyjoe

What is this even talking about??? This sucks!
 — unknown

Interesting that two people have said it sucks, yet it got rated a ten by one person. Could this have been the author? Most likely. Please, don't rate your own stuff, it's pathetic. Just for that, and the fact that it sucks, I give it a nice healthy 1 to counteract the 10.
 — unknown

No. Just, no.
 — unknown

Well, I can think of some particularly rabbid groups that MIGHT be stupid enough to say shit like this (they normally wear sheets over their heads - hmm, more unknowns!) but most of us wouldn't, don't, and are completely appalled by the thought of rampant racism or anti-semitism.

That said - you have a message but you might as well be posting a rant. This needs serious editing (watch your grammar - in poetry people will break the rules but to do it effectively they must first show they know them.)

Take this back to the drawing board - put these angry feelings into a situation or think of a way to make us feel how angry you are or how wrong this is. Try again.

-- ka
 — unknown

Sweet tale from the Klan would have been a great title, much more adequate.
If only the style was nice...Adolf himself would have wiped his ass with it.
 — unknown

Strong subject matter...politics...anti-semitism...bad poetry--all coming together to form:

The Perfect Storm
 — unknown

What cr#p!  I am a jew and find this poem disgusting.
 — unknown

from the first line I thought this was talking TO a Jew and I though 'how original and cool' and then i just though 'oh'...
seriously, I though 'oh', that exact word.
it's ok, it's not special and it doesn't have that vava voom that poetry normally does
edit it boy/girl/dog/whatever

haha I just read your comment, poor thing... don't be so mean guys! nearly all of that wasn't constructive! / none of it was (i didn't actually read it all...)
this is basically a rant (yes Ka yes!) but doesn't mean we can't give constructive advice

*sits back in her chair*
uh... scrap it, read more poetry and try again
 — Minx

Too sensitive a subject for bad poetry.
 — unknown

this IS really really horrible. i can't really say much more than that, it's that bad.
 — BlueNymph

This is so terrible as a poem. It makes me sick to read it because it is so badly written. Good concept, poem sucks!
 — unknown

WTF this sux but i guess i have to take kredit for it as the older sister, who for an english class wrote a poem about racism and left it by the computer so my sister could take it and make it sound totally (so not to curse) wrong. And Laura sweet hart dont write what you lurn in class half of it is BS.
 — HighonU

What did that last comment say?

Ka, it's "rabid", just for the record.

And highonU, if the writer had been awake during the aforementioned English class, she would realize that such a thing as "editing" exists. The bracked that opens l4 is obvously a typo, and l5 should begin with either "you are" or "you're".

As far as the content and style goes, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that this IS NOT A POEM. I'm also gonna go out and say that I have no clue what you're trying to tell me as a writer. Are you talking about an anti-Semite? Are you an anti-Semite? Are you trying to exonerate anti-Semites? Are you trying to condemn anti-Semites? If you're gonna tackle this issue, at least try and do so forcefully. You could leave much stronger words for your subject.
 — zepplin42

This was done completely on purpose. It is satire.

At least, I hope it is satire because if it isn't...
 — rob

ok as a jew, im mortified by this poetry, or whatever it's suppose to be.  You make yourself look incredibly stupid, this is nothing more then someone ranting and raving.  Actually, sit down and try to come up with something that makes sense, and that can be applied.  I am not going to even rate this because I believe it is a joke.  
 — The1nOnly

I think it is indeed a joke, intentionally or otherwise. I still gave it a 1 because I don't think I ever thought a piece of writing could be so bad as to warrant it. Thank you, lt63, for making the dream possible!
 — zepplin42

ok this just totally stinks like DOODY! Looks like this was done to see what the reaction would be.  This is not ranting or raving it is pure hatred and racsim! I am not a jew but find this highly offensive!
Now to try to look at this constructivly, which I am finding hard to do. First off use your spell/grammer check, even I who is horrible at such things can point out many errors. Maybe if you were to take a certain situation that perhaps made you feel like this "rant" and make an HONEST attempt in creating a poem it could possibly be ok (minus the hatred).
I suggest you go  back and read what you wrote and then look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself "Is this something I would want to teach my kids?" or "Is this something that I would want someone thinking about my own kids?"
And one wonders why there is so much violence and hatred in this world.  

I pitty you wasting your time and energy with so much hate. It just makes you old real fast.
 — Dinky

Not to take the wind out of everybody's sails, but peep this more closely. I am a Jew and was actually not offended, just saddened by the complete inability of the poet's words to make any sense. It's just all too dang. And there really doesn't seem to be hate emanating from either the speaker or the author. I can't tell because it can't make any sense anyways.
 — zepplin42

yeah.. i think this is a little too empty to be offensive.  infact the more i read it ,and i have read it a few times, the more that last line cracks me up.
 — mightyjoe

uhh how can u get offended..the person writing this is jewish.. i think its about the hate that she gets from other people..
 — unknown

 — unknown

This is what more famous men have said about the jews.

 — unknown