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bug shot bullet punch

one slug
i move slow
by one slug
i am on the ground
by one slug
by one slug
you sent me
low two days
(low tomorrow)
sent, i peed.
you know
i am
i know scents
     sent me crawling.
but what you dont know is
i ate that slug is in me.

21 Dec 03

Rated 8 (8) by 2 users.
Active (2): 8, 8
Inactive (5): 2, 7, 7, 10, 10

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I bet this is a gnormal poem. It has that air to it. Awesome play on words. Slug, as in the animal, and slug as in the unit of measure. And that "sent, i peed" is really cool too. Bravo gnormal. The title, hard to understand kinda...it's okay though.~Chris King 10/10
 — FrChris

The title explains the various meanings of slug...a bug, a shot, a bullet, a punch. Great poem by the way.
 — manstrut

Last line was clumsy... maybe you could fiddle with the punctuation to make this more clear. Beyond that, I really enjoyed this.
 — aforbing

it's supposed to be clumsy, for contrast, a suprise slug.
and thank you!
 — gnormal

okay... Merry Christmas and such!
 — aforbing

 — unknown

I don't really get the last line...maybe it is just me though, cause the rest of the poem didn't seem to make sense either.
But, I did like the flow and I can't say it wasn't creative, so I gave it a 7.
 — 8star83

this is the best titled poem.
 — knah

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