poetry critical : poem

Joey, as "Michael Bauer", "quartet"

joey

red ochre	1
..	2
i don’t know,	3
but you’re like	4
the clarity	5
of water — beaker	6
of translucency,	7
transparent to the pines	8
and hills	9
of my tuscan	10
vision: your	11
renaissance	12
eyes — da vinci	13
figure in red	14
chalk — drawn	15
before	16
he broke	17
the glass	18
of water.	19

like water,	20
you bend	21
the elements	22
of my vision —	23

two echoes	24
off red river	25
walls…	26

or, so reality —	27
as i might	28
know reality	29

red	30
clarity of my	31
image of you	32
this sunset evening	33

far from	34
where you talk	35
with friends,	36
the empty glass	37
upon your lips.	38

10.19.03	39

cobalt blue	40
..	41
far away from you,	42
there is a magic	43
moment of you	44
where i am two people…	45

your hand on my chest,	46
my heart,	47
your heart in mine.	48

far away from you,	49
in that moment	50
of being you,	51
when i’m no	52
longer gray	53
and cold	54
and only me,	55
i kiss you	56
kissing me,	57
see your eyes —	58
my sparkle blue	59
stripped	60
diamond pure	61
in scattered velocities	62
of crystal black —	63

i miss you so…	64
yet, never left you,	65
never joined,	66
our being ever only	67
mine as mirror	68
of a golden sky,	69
minor universe,	70
one half	71
of night.	72

10.25.03	73








burnt umber	74
..	75
you draw	76
the line in amber gold,	77
i draw pale green	78
around	79
your finger…	80

faggot tracing	81
of your memory…	82
green for amber	83
burnt	84
in mirrors,	85
umber browns,	86
green vivid	87
blues and blood thin	88
amber,	89
red of summer	90
meadows.	91

i grab the earth,	92
hold the dirt	93
of grape and plankton	94
fossil tissue —	95
build a mound	96
of amber orange:	97
translucent tomb	98
decayed to umber	99
in the quiet dark.	100

trace your name	101
into the earth,	102
i draw the art	103
and love	104
and umber-figured	105
you were never	106
there at all.	107

amber sparkles	108
in the dirt,	109
my faggot soul.	110

10.26.03	111



chrome yellow	112
..	113
all the edges	114
of sand	115
in shallow water,	116
earth’s ripple —	117
movement over waves —	118
have turned	119
to water.	120

all is liquid	121
and colored	122
red ochre…	123

forest fires	124
blaze bright,	125
consuming	126
lesser motions;	127
all is fire,	128
casting color	129
on the pale	130
periphery of	131
ocean.	132

water of life,	133
water joining	134
boy and girl —	135
chrome ochre	136
chest and arms	137
claim precedence	138
of love and yet	139
is told as colored	140
water:	141
caustic yellow,	142
chrome identity, boy	143
and girl.	144

chrome yellow hair,	145
chrome	146
wave	147
above the sea,	148
blue shadows.	149


10.26.03	150

14 Jul 07

Rated 1 (1) by 2 users.

Active (2): 1, 1
Inactive (0):

(define the words in this poem)
(8 more poems by this author)

Add A Comment:

Comments:

This will be deleted soon.
-Midamerican Poets-
— unknown

Be neat if you could learn to read before it's deleted though. It's really pretty good.
— joey

No, it is not good.
— unknown

How would I know that from just your saying so? Have you any authority as a critic? No.
— joey

shavedcunnie is gonna get you
— unknown

Waste of space. Improper use of words. The thing that wrote this evidently doesn't know what capital letters are for. Everything about this garbage is stupid. Garbage. Garbage words written by a piece of shit.
— pelican

I don't share the joke... is this your mother's maiden name or something? Some Semi-sound from your ancestral pit? Is there a dance to go with it?
— joey

Ah, the pelican. Evidently someone else who learned to read in the 12th grade whether he wanted to or not. Someone not familier with the English language, and not familier with the history of orthography -- ummm, how unique is that? Every folk has its folk wisdom and folk etymologies.

"Waste of space" is the give-away -- trying to sound like someone on T.V.. Should be something more conceptual -- "Waste of thought". "Everything about this garbage is stupid"... stupid thing to say, using the icon as the emblem... probably not realizing that the only referent is his own thought... who calls something "garbage" without reading it? Ronald Reagan?

Thanks Ron.
— joey

i like your poem

i have to take issue with
caustic yellow, however
chrome yellow is on-the-money
i've worked with both virgin- and
waste industrial chemicals for 25 years (since i was 12) and am familiar (physically) with both these substances
that is the centre of my gravity for these wordchoices
and i can't really change that

that is all
— chuckles

Chuckles, yes, the idea is that the aesthetic is beautifully colored, chrome yellow, but caustic -- the boy-girl, and all the fine and dandy, is true and natural, but it's made me sick at heart.
— joey

poetry critical

online poetry workshop