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Self Centered
unknown

I have a Self.
 1
It's a silly little thing.
 2
Slippery, a bit shimmery and
 3
ever so often,
 4
it     sl i ps
 5
 
 
                      of
 6
out
 7
 
 
 
 
                   my grip.
 8
 
 
 
 
This little Self likes a laugh,
 9
it silently hoots and hollers, belly heaving
 10
like waves.
 11
 
 
Sometimes I can hear it at night,
 12
slip away through a crack in the door.
 13
 
 
I don't know where it goes.
 14
I don't know what it does.
 15

13 Jul 07

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Comments:

i like it ; it's funny. the end is a little bit frustrating.
you could have expanded the main topic at line 11... couldn't you ? that 's where i was expecting to take off ( or go high... )
 — greenmantle

The first part of this has great possibilities but it fades badly. Re work the ending.

Larry
 — larrylark

Beginning is fine. Middle is stupid. Ending is weak.
 — pelican

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