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Self Centered

I have a Self.
It's a silly little thing.
Slippery, a bit shimmery and
ever so often,
it     sl i ps
                   my grip.
This little Self likes a laugh,
it silently hoots and hollers, belly heaving
like waves.
Sometimes I can hear it at night,
slip away through a crack in the door.
I don't know where it goes.
I don't know what it does.

13 Jul 07

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i like it ; it's funny. the end is a little bit frustrating.
you could have expanded the main topic at line 11... couldn't you ? that 's where i was expecting to take off ( or go high... )
 — greenmantle

The first part of this has great possibilities but it fades badly. Re work the ending.

 — larrylark

Beginning is fine. Middle is stupid. Ending is weak.
 — pelican

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