| Donation of Abandoning |
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Taking away the fears led to recuperation. I could
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not believe the recovery
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that covered, that hovered
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above the people,
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or what was really a person, a
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lone figure in delusion of imagined friends;
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ends meet, although
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there is no partner of cure.
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And the patient,
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never to receive help in isolation,
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no matter how long in wait.
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Sorry to have lied, but her illness can
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not be detained; the epidemic we obtained
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years ago, and it will
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always stay, extract.
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A Poem as a Blossom
(To enforce the idea that growth occurs when one has been subjected to careless handling.)
The flowers are
not rot,
unlike some hospitals that don’t scrub the patients within
thanks to corrupt staff;
simply, the result
of mold dusting the fields of endless sunshine
disguised as flowers;
some think the mold is bad;
others, see it simply as sad;
but truth
is, that
the flowers
have accepted the rays of the sun,
and now, they
glitter with peace beside.
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6 Jul 07 |
Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
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(63 more poems by this author)
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Comments:
Ah, this reads almost like a translation, which allows it tremendous scope and dignity. Your footnote poem is breathtaking. There are many subtexts, textured delicately.
beautiful poem(s)
important theme(s)
— banditfemme
gobbledygook
i do not think you know what you have written. perhaps you could explain.
— unknown
Unknown, this poem is entirely accessible. Read it carefully. Read the footnote poem. It has every element required for understanding. Do you?
— banditfemme
the footnote would be a nice touch but ultimatley resembles a hallmark card.
and i am not intending rudeness.
recovery covered hovered - these seem like despeate words to meet as partners
; &nbs p; &nb sp; of your allure
extract? what does that mean?
— unknown
ultimate resemble of a hallmark card, isn't necessarily a bad thing is it, as cards tend to be a little sentimental but how can one not be slightly sentimental for caring about someone who could have been helped had not the person here been subject to the cruelties of irresponsibility and corruption as well as the need of people to suck up money regardless of the patient as these days money seems to be the most important factor forget everything else, and you did not intend rudeness i actually like your honesty, but will defend the poem slightly because at least i knew what i was doing with the word extract, as not only is the person here under extraction due to her illness that the doctors didn't bother to fix, but also of her money as the doctors do that, this poem was not an intention to disrespect doctors but some doctors only care about money, just as some people in the world only care about money, that was just an example.
your comment however has been appreciated anyway, thank you for your viewpoint.
as for banditfemme, it means a lot that you care about this poem the way you mentioned and were even trying to protect me from a pitiless unknown. to say the poem is accessible ... i'm sorry but i agree with you, because i made the message pretty obvious with keywords such as epidemic, cure, patient. thanks for being patient and reading it.
by the way, unknown: i like how you aren't just slamming the poem, at least you leave behind a little humor in your comment such as you don't think i know what i have written, as though to suggest i am overly dimwitted, do you see the innocent humor in your response? because you could have bludgeoned me but you did no such thing.
once again, banditfemme ... thank you.
for reading, i appreciate the both of you, unless perhaps the unknowns are not the same. and gobbledygook is a cool word.
— listen
i still think it is rather abstract as opposed to extract. i highly doubt anyone had an idea this poem is about money, corruption? maybe?. dont believe me ask others. it is way off and i am confident bf had no idea either. but to admit so would suggest a crack in the wall of division.
— unknown
i probably think this poem is all right because it makes sense to me. but if others comment on here, i would have more to work with. not to say i'm disregarding your comment, i will explore possibilities in making this poem less abstract. though i won't lie, that was the intention in the first place; a companion to another poem i wrote, when the motive goes unknown. that's all this is, just a companion. if you read that one, this might make more sense. though i was hoping this poem would stand on its own as an abstract excursion.
don't think i haven't taken in what you said. you have me thinking.
— listen
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