poetry critical

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Why Did You Have To Hurt Me?
coliemolie11

Why did you have to hurt me?
 1
When you left in such a way,
 2
I was so upset, but you didn’t even see.
 3
 
 
No frown, just a smile to see.
 4
You just acted like everything was ok.
 5
Why did you have to hurt me?
 6
 
 
It was last night and you were taking to me.
 7
You said it would be ok, but just in another way.
 8
I was so upset, but you didn’t even see.
 9
 
 
What was about to run down my face were tears to be.
 10
Nothing can compare to my feelings that day.
 11
Why did you have to hurt me?
 12
 
 
I woke up that morning to see.
 13
That everything was happening in that way.
 14
I was so upset, but you didn’t even see.
 15
 
 
I called up my dad and he talked to me
 16
I cried to you, but you pushed me away.
 17
Why did you have to hurt me?
 18
I was so upset, but you didn’t even see.
 19

3 Jul 07

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Comments:

oh please no more
 — unknown

How old are you? Young teen? Is this your first poem? If not, there is no excuse for it.
 — unknown

read day dream its a short poem but it good
 — daniellive

hehe
missed the button
daniellive!
 — chuckles

Repetative and not in a good way. You actualy rhyme the same word with itself twice. There is no real feeling to it, other than the one your trying too beat us over the head with.
 — Solstice

L7 should be talking

Trite, its been done. Originality is the key. You sound very young.
 — unknown

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