poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Walking around blind
unknown

I don't know why,
 1
 
 
I lost the question
 2
somewhere in
 3
our old house,
 4
 
 
Maybe in the attic
 5
we would never go,
 6
 
 
or in the kitchen
 7
where we order pizza,
 8
 
 
the living room
 9
where we really didn't
 10
do much living,
 11
 
 
I must of lost my keys
 12
or changed the locks,
 13
 
 
I can't get in
 14
to look for what I lost
 15
if I could remeber what that was,
 16
 
 
maybe in the garage
 17
with more trash then car,
 18
 
 
thats not our dog
 19
in the backyard
 20
or my car
 21
in the drive,
 22
 
 
where did you go?
 23

2 Jul 07


(define the words in this poem)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

I like the idea but I think you get lost about halfway through. Also the grammar is poor, L8 should be past tense, maybe put "in" at the end of L6, there are more, I am sure you will spot if you reread this yourself.
 — Solstice

2 to 4 i thought you might really have something
you didnt
 — chuckles

Newest (expand)
  • V Healthy Verses for the Children
  • CAN YOU SELL THE PRESIDENT?
  • Prophet
  • the origins of poetry
  • On A Picture From The Scopes Trial
  • Autumn Breeze
  • On the side of the road
  • A prospective uncertainty
  • jealousy
  • emotions
  • mock poetry
  • shopping list - ( you're going to hate me ! )
  • In the Dark
  • Jakes Crew Luck
  • Hey! Moon!
Recently Commented (expand)
0.59s