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Prequel To A Lost Hat (Film Noir)
banditfemme

the enticing lighting
of a cigarette,
the silk hiss
of a shed stocking


It rains;
 1
a black hat tumbles
 2
out of a phone booth.
 3
 
 
The blonde
 4
in disarray
 5
clutches a paper
 6
pocked with numbers;
 7
punctuation marks
 8
like miniature assassins
 9
stalk her every movement.
 10
 
 
A snake coils around her neck,
 11
ouroborous with execution intent,
 12
rosary beads, bullets
 13
candy aspirin bulge in pockets.
 14
 
 
She opens smudged lips,
 15
swallows tin crucifix,
 16
every foreign language
 17
designed to pierce her culture.
 18

1 Jul 07

Rated 9.5 (9.5) by 2 users.
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(define the words in this poem)
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Comments:

stupendous
 — unknown

i am listening to nina simone; your poem and the music fit perfectly [though nowhere close to noir, the music i mean]. on a cold southern hemisphere night, it's chilly in cape town.

the poem - is a lovely prequel.
i'm very unsure about the word pocked. but i don't have a suggestion either. menh.
consider 'movements' instead of 'every movement'. or even 'every moment'. i like that better, every moment.

would you consider a hyphen at the end of 12? comma just isn't sitting right somehow... perhaps i need to read more.

opens? no. 'parts' perhaps? don't need 'she' either, it's re-iterated in line 18.

wonderful poem.
thanks.
 — varun

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