He Said, She Said |
erato
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I heard God whisper
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1 |
in my ear - “Your
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2 |
soul is black,
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3 |
damnation’s near. “
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4 |
When He was done
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with His attack, I
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6 |
grabbed His ear
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7 |
and whispered back.
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8 |
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“Cut down that tree,
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9 |
the apple’s sour -
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10 |
lust, temptation,
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11 |
wormy flower.
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Let free will wither
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on the vine - then I,
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14 |
like You,
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15 |
can be divine.”
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16 |
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29 Jun 07 |
Rated 8 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1): 8
Inactive (0):
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(1 more poem by this author)
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Comments:
not near as good as bing bing bong
— unknown
Dear unknown. A constructive criticism would be more helpful.
— erato
erato. A fine poem, no suggestions for improvement, L9 to L16 greatly enjoyed
The whole piece is streets ahead of bing bong bong imo
— unknown
I really like this. It's a great comment on the human species' inability attain perfection as long as there is free choice.
— skinnyJon
almost like Emily Dickinson or Blake. Abstraction in poetry is always difficult to get right wholly.
— karly22
I agree with unknown N#2 and say this is way better than bing bing bong and i thorughly enjoyed it, especially since it has a wittykind of shortrness to it.
— unknown
Thanks to all who took the time to read and comment.
— erato
This is excellent. Post more
— unknown
karly22
To be even mentioned in the same context as Emily, the high priestess of poetry, made my day. An instructor I once had said she was the "hard liquor" of poetry. My humble thanks.
— erato
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