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Last night threw blue suede shoe out front door.
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1 |
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Pulled rug from under big black bug,
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2 |
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Nailed it flailing to the laminated floor.
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3 |
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Swatted one fat fly with my Freddie Flintoff cricket bat.
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4 |
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After that, set fire to coconut matting in porch,
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5 |
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Went up like a torch
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6 |
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Along with linseed oil, bails and stumps.
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7 |
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Jerked phone off wall, left huge hole,
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8 |
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Plaster in lumps.
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9 |
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Wiped ass on Madras brown drapes,
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10 |
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Pissed all over living room floor
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11 |
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Swam through the lake.
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12 |
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Left fake message for the wife,
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13 |
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Macdonald vouchered my kids for life.
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14 |
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Ran out through rhododendron bushes and hid
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15 |
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Blasted passing motorist through his midriff.
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16 |
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Drove straight over top of nearest cliff.
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17 |
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Lifted by some mysterious cyber force.
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18 |
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Landed back in the gorse bush at bottom of rock garden.
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19 |
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Sneaked back inside placed luminous socks inside my money box
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20 |
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Collapsed on leatherette settee, started to snore.
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21 |
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Worm crawled back inside rotting apple core.
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22 |