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Totally Lost It.

Last night threw blue suede shoe out front door.
Pulled rug from under  big black bug,
Nailed it flailing to the laminated floor.
Swatted one fat fly with my Freddie Flintoff cricket bat.
After that, set fire to coconut matting in porch,
Went up like a torch
Along with linseed oil, bails and stumps.
Jerked phone off wall, left huge hole,
Plaster in lumps.
Wiped ass on Madras brown drapes,
Pissed all over living room floor
Swam through the lake.
Left fake message for the wife,
Macdonald vouchered my kids for life.
Ran out through rhododendron bushes and hid
Blasted passing motorist through his midriff.
Drove straight over top of nearest cliff.
Lifted by some mysterious cyber force.
Landed back in the gorse bush at bottom of rock garden.
Sneaked back inside placed luminous socks inside my money box
Collapsed on leatherette settee, started to snore.
Worm crawled back inside rotting apple core.

24 Jun 07

Rated 10 (10) by 2 users.
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Hi larry

this is a really funny poem I liked the 5th and 6th line it made me look to seen if my pants were on fire.

Go to blazes
 — Leanan

nice poem. really nice.
 — hank

L4 seems you should have wacked a cricket with that bat.
 — unknown

where is paris hilton in this? even your subconscious cant ignore PH
 — unknown

Hmm... this just seems like a laundry list.  You tell me so much, but it's like stuff to pick up from the store... all there in an itemized fashion.
what makes it art?  what makes it a story?  what makes the poem?
what does it say/do/mean?  Perhaps going thru and taking the CAPitalization off of every line would be a good place to start.  That's letting Microsoft Word be your editor==you should know better than that.
 — aforbing

Dear Absorbing

I agree with pretty much most of what you say about this poem. It is a pot boiler written from memory without any inspiration but when you can't be arsed it sometimes has to be that way and then the cobwebs get blown away and the way forward becomes clearer.

Larry shit poet Lark
 — larrylark

hey larry, you once made a comment about how you love to read 'old man', well, if that is the case (and i hope it is)

you've returned the favor.
fuckin hell mate, beautiful. thanks.

 — hank

one little thing, (there is a lot of white space between the words and the numbers so if i get it wrong fuck off) but, the 'the' in line twelve i think could be taken out. 'swam through lake' works ok. seems more in tune with the language of the poem. sorry, i hate doing this, but ah, fuckit.

yeah, should be 'swam through lake'. or swan thorough lake?
 — hank

and hey AFORBING! you stupid ass. don't know good stuff when you see it. or is your face turning so green that the gardener repotted you?
 — hank

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