poetry critical

online poetry workshop



raw material
gnormal

around
 1
the bend
 2
the fallen
 3
rock
 4
exhausted lode
 5
sprawled
 6
belly up
 7
across the road
 8
still squinting
 9
crystal glinting
 10
into the blue
 11
quartz hum
 12
notes composed
 13
of eons
 14
of clinging
 15
silent prose
 16
now is singing
 17
relief
 18
airing
 19
a tonne of grief
 20
peacefully
 21
perfectly                      fRE e
 22
and ready to do some serious damage.
 23
                                                        .
 24
                                                         .
 25
                                                          .
 26

23 Jun 07

Rated 3 (3) by 1 users.
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Comments:

It's just too broken up to make much sense and flow well, and any emotion you were trying to portray to the audience has been lost in the jumble of only somewhat related phrases.
 — FangzOfFire

"Avalanche!!!!!!"

iron

F re e?
F(re)e?

maybe the way you have it is best
 — unknown

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