poetry critical

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Fifty cents (A repost)
turtlepoet

Fifty cents,
 1
it's all I feel
 2
I'm worth when I'm with her.
 3
No more
 4
than the price of your daily paper.
 5
Flat, colorless, and easily read;
 6
yet skipped over
 7
by ninety percent of the population,
 8
their eyes jumping
 9
to the "attention-grabbing" funnies;
 10
skpped by all
 11
...but her.
 12
She reads me
 13
fully,
 14
finding color in the eloquence of words written.
 15
 
 
Her my complete compendium
 16
of knowledge,
 17
my dictionary of truth,
 18
my thesaurus
 19
...giving new meanings to things
 20
I thought I knew.
 21
 
 
Then she leaves
 22
to read another
 23
more vibrant magazine,
 24
and for a brief moment I am lonely,
 25
blank
 26
paper silently closed,
 27
sopping from my own raining tears.
 28
But I buck up
 29
because I know in the end
 30
she will come back to read my classifieds
 31
because she sees me as more...
 32
than fifty cents.
 33

22 Jun 07


(define the words in this poem)
(39 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

Interesting way of putting it.
Even though this is a "newspaper" writing the poem, I still think the language could be more vibrant.  You have to "complete compendium of knowledge" and the image of the stark 50 cent newspaper, but some of the words and phrases seem a tad...dry, even for a journalistic style.

I know what you're trying to say about the '"attention-grabbing" funnies,' how they seem to be more frequently read, but they are usually tucked away in the paper.  Headlines are what your eyes jump to, but you have to search for the comics section.

L11 - Skipped
L25 - "Sad" is a bit bland.  Lonely, perhaps?

"Today, just more than half of Americans (54 percent) read a newspaper during the week, somewhat more (62 percent) on Sundays, and the number is continuing to drop."
-http://www.stateofthenewsmedia.org/narrative_newspap ers_audience.asp
(Forgive me; I am a journalist)
 — vardaman

it's cool but as for the funnies thing...you said why I used funnies... you have to look into the paper to find them...like they are a part of me but she misses that aspect
 — turtlepoet

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