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Sunshine on a Autumn Day
Frown

Slight of heart and blind to love...
 1
 
 
I, the fool,
 2
have gaind the wisdom of a fine soul,
 3
and have taken her for granted.
 4
 
 
Dash my cursed bitter soul,
 5
and smite the complaisance of my spirit.
 6
Jaded to the word passion,
 7
I am lost to the page that has been turned.
 8
 
 
She, sunshine on an Autumn day,
 9
fills me with renewed love.
 10
Soft, like the warm touch of a new Spring day,
 11
is her smile.
 12
 
 
With the essence of the fox in her eyes,
 13
she captivates me.
 14
She, my woman and lover holds my heart,
 15
and such a heart as mine could never find
 16
one as graceful.
 17

21 Jun 07

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Comments:

cursed, line 5?
Line 15 - She, my woman, not her.

I'm interested in lines 11-12 and how you mean them to mix with the Autumn view of this woman.  You might wish to define 'essence of fox,' so that the reader will know which traits you find appealing in a fox.  Actually, a female fox is called a vixen!  

This is very personal, hushes and quite romantic.  Are you certain to want to share it with strangers?

I find it sad that you imply at the beginning and the end that you don't really deserve this.  
 — Isabelle5

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