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helen of troy has got nothing on you
overdose

there are fingertips grazing,
 1
    legs entangled.
 2
it's times like this that i know
 3
you                are                never
 4
q          u         i         t         e
 5
            close enough.
 6
 
 
if i tried very hard,
 7
     i'm sure i could feel your heartbeat.
 8
              however--
 9
i think that would almost be worse.
 10
     (knowing mine is different)
 11
 
 
 
 
sometimes i wish the very core of me
 12
        could climb to the very core of you
 13
 
 
just to hold you close
 14
                                   and safe
 15
                for always.
 16
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
i'm not sure when it got like this
 17
               but it did
 18
  i tried to resist;
 19
          i swear i wasn't planning it.
 20
 
 
   butwarshavebeenfoughtforless.
 21

19 Jun 07

Rated 8.7 (8.7) by 5 users.
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Comments:

well dear,
I nearly overdosed on the romanticism of this piece, but you pulled it off. Your last line is very endearing. It's sweet, goofy, and quite adorable.
 — banditfemme

I really liked the creative visual structure, and that although it's different - the spacing all seems to add to the content, and not distract from it. Not a huge fan of love poems, but this is sweet. I like the title too, wrapped up with the last line.
 — SteelAngel

Hmm yes, the structure is very creative and adventurous, visual interpretation of the events.

I can see the passion in this, the desire, the longing to merge, to become whole hoping this is the missing part to make it so. Love lines 12 and 13, the resonance of it, the implications.

Very well written too!

-Mong-
 — Mongrol

you know, dear, i love this piece.

i love how powerful it is, how your line breaks and your spacing make it read in such a way that give it even more power.


(i'd love to see this climb to where it deserves.)
 — shakeit

too personal - uninteresting - not even poetic, to me...
 — greenmantle

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