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The Caulk Tease
DrakeScott

the plastic snout
 1
spits caulk into
 2
sneaky crumbling
 3
crevices,
 4
 
 
sealing cracks,
 5
sprouting mildew
 6
in secret leaky
 7
micro-chasms;
 8
 
 
the plumber man's
 9
pants spout crack
 10
as he works,
 11
spreading grout.
 12
 
 
proud to wield
 13
his sealant-packed
 14
tube, he knows
 15
precisely where
 16
 
 
to
 17
point
 18
it.
 19

19 Jun 07

Rated 9 (8.8) by 10 users.
Active (10): 1, 7, 8, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (3): 10, 10

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Comments:

i LOVE this!
so deliciously naughty, but absolutely innocent!

your writing is very clever.

Bravo!
 — luster

excellent word-play. love it.

Sam
 — unknown

i find it nice and also bloody obvious.
 — unknown

I'm leaking (tears!) at my desk, I'm laughing so hard.
 — Isabelle5

!!!  10
 — unknown

could be better
title too too too
micro-chasms and fancy looking punctuation dont help

the plumber mans pants spout
crack he works spreading grout
proudly wields his sealant packed tube
precisely points his sticky lube  
 — unknown

haha i love it.
 — sunshinesgf

Luster, Sam, Unknown(s), Isabelle, and Sunshinesgf: Thanks so much for commenting!
 — DrakeScott

yep a great read, funny, entertaining and so so subtle in its naughtiness!

some clever placements and internal rhythms lots of 'ou's in there make this bounce around nicely.

good stuff!!
 — Mongrol

If you just added "er" to the end of this title...
 — Isabelle5

lol - now that would also work
 — Mongrol

Mon,
Thanks a lot for your kind words!
 — DrakeScott

Isabelle,
Thanks for your suggestion re: the title. I did consider making it "The Caulk Teaser", but then the focus became the plumber, rather than the action, if that makes any sense.
 — DrakeScott

If it makes sense to you, poet, it makes sense.  I find it fun either way.
 — Isabelle5

Nothing like a good caulk (in those crevices).  Nice little metaphor.  U need 2 be slapped 4 this one.
 — starr

your poem 's funny
 — greenmantle

Thanks, Starr & Greenmantle! It's always nice when someone else shares your sense of humor.
 — DrakeScott

Love this.  You must have attended my school for humor and the absured in 10 lines or less.  This is great stuff... I wish I'd written this.  
I'd go with a CAP on the beginning of line 1, a period on line 4, CAP for line 5, a CAP for "Proud" at the end of line 6 and I'd drop "he" to the beginning of line 7 with a CAP... for your last, powerful line.  >>If you were asking me...
 — aforbing

wow wow wow. this piece definitely is very delightful to read.
 — lanezfairy

Aforbing,
Thanks for the suggestions! It's always refreshing when someone puts some thought into a critique of one's work. I'm considering your ideas about capitalization in particular, as I've never been a poet who favors the all-lowercase approach; it's odd that I felt so compelled here.
 — DrakeScott

LanezFairy,
Thanks for your kind words!!
 — DrakeScott

this came up for me as a random on the front page, reminds me how much i laughed when i first read it!!!! i still love this poem!
 — sunshinesgf

wonderful humor. really.

my only suggestion is to provide tissues so as to reduce the spread of tears induced by that wonderful humor i speak so proudly of.
 — listen

Sunshine's gf, thanks again!
Listen, tissues all around! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
 — DrakeScott

*teehee*
 — chuckles

you said crack!
 — chuckles

Chuckles,
Thanks!
P.S. crackcrackcrackcrackcrack!
 — DrakeScott

if there is one construction material that looks the best to eat it is definately caulk.
 — unknown

ewwww great poem but ewwwww
 — mosaic

See what you do to people?  You bring out the caulk-iness in 'em, D.S.  Congrats on the #1 Top Rated spot, bro.  
 — starr

you are hilarious,
nicely done.
 — jenakajoffer

please do this website a favor and hit the "remove from top-rated" button
it is really sad that this would be #1 and surely you know that
just makes this website seem more a joke than it already is
i give it a 5 out of 10
 — unknown

Wow, that's the first time I've ever had comments removed by the moderator for one of my poems. Now my curiosity is REALLY stimulated!

Hehe, I guess a poem's like a lot of other things - you either love it or hate it. Thanks to everyone who voted!
 — DrakeScott

Thought I'd take a crack (so to speak) at restructuring this piece. Previously, it was a dense two stanzas, but I wondered what would happen if I gave it a roomier, more playful structure. Poetry to strip (fixtures) to, perhaps. ;-)
 — DrakeScott

The title needs work but the poem is great.
 — hairlessclam

A fun read that made me smile.
 — bing

why is it wrong for peolple to enjoy a joke? it doesn't make this website any worse, it gives some people a laugh that's alll!!! this poem is funny as hell and it deserves to be enjoyed!!!! everyone needs to chill the fuck out! i give this a 10
 — zekejacobi

Hairlessclam (eww!).. thanks for your comment. I admit, the title is a bit corny, but I find the pun irresistable. It's childish, I know... :-)
 — DrakeScott

Bing & Zeke,
Thanks to you, too, for taking a moment to share your thoughts with me. I'm glad you were able to appreciate it in the playful spirit it was intended.
 — DrakeScott

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