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The Caulk Tease

the plastic snout
spits caulk into
sneaky crumbling
sealing cracks,
sprouting mildew
in secret leaky
the plumber man's
pants spout crack
as he works,
spreading grout.
proud to wield
his sealant-packed
tube, he knows
precisely where

19 Jun 07

Rated 9 (8.8) by 10 users.
Active (10): 1, 7, 8, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (3): 10, 10

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(3 users consider this poem a favorite)

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i LOVE this!
so deliciously naughty, but absolutely innocent!

your writing is very clever.

 — luster

excellent word-play. love it.

 — unknown

i find it nice and also bloody obvious.
 — unknown

I'm leaking (tears!) at my desk, I'm laughing so hard.
 — Isabelle5

!!!  10
 — unknown

could be better
title too too too
micro-chasms and fancy looking punctuation dont help

the plumber mans pants spout
crack he works spreading grout
proudly wields his sealant packed tube
precisely points his sticky lube  
 — unknown

haha i love it.
 — sunshinesgf

Luster, Sam, Unknown(s), Isabelle, and Sunshinesgf: Thanks so much for commenting!
 — DrakeScott

yep a great read, funny, entertaining and so so subtle in its naughtiness!

some clever placements and internal rhythms lots of 'ou's in there make this bounce around nicely.

good stuff!!
 — Mongrol

If you just added "er" to the end of this title...
 — Isabelle5

lol - now that would also work
 — Mongrol

Thanks a lot for your kind words!
 — DrakeScott

Thanks for your suggestion re: the title. I did consider making it "The Caulk Teaser", but then the focus became the plumber, rather than the action, if that makes any sense.
 — DrakeScott

If it makes sense to you, poet, it makes sense.  I find it fun either way.
 — Isabelle5

Nothing like a good caulk (in those crevices).  Nice little metaphor.  U need 2 be slapped 4 this one.
 — starr

your poem 's funny
 — greenmantle

Thanks, Starr & Greenmantle! It's always nice when someone else shares your sense of humor.
 — DrakeScott

Love this.  You must have attended my school for humor and the absured in 10 lines or less.  This is great stuff... I wish I'd written this.  
I'd go with a CAP on the beginning of line 1, a period on line 4, CAP for line 5, a CAP for "Proud" at the end of line 6 and I'd drop "he" to the beginning of line 7 with a CAP... for your last, powerful line.  >>If you were asking me...
 — aforbing

wow wow wow. this piece definitely is very delightful to read.
 — lanezfairy

Thanks for the suggestions! It's always refreshing when someone puts some thought into a critique of one's work. I'm considering your ideas about capitalization in particular, as I've never been a poet who favors the all-lowercase approach; it's odd that I felt so compelled here.
 — DrakeScott

Thanks for your kind words!!
 — DrakeScott

this came up for me as a random on the front page, reminds me how much i laughed when i first read it!!!! i still love this poem!
 — sunshinesgf

wonderful humor. really.

my only suggestion is to provide tissues so as to reduce the spread of tears induced by that wonderful humor i speak so proudly of.
 — listen

Sunshine's gf, thanks again!
Listen, tissues all around! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
 — DrakeScott

 — chuckles

you said crack!
 — chuckles

P.S. crackcrackcrackcrackcrack!
 — DrakeScott

if there is one construction material that looks the best to eat it is definately caulk.
 — unknown

ewwww great poem but ewwwww
 — mosaic

See what you do to people?  You bring out the caulk-iness in 'em, D.S.  Congrats on the #1 Top Rated spot, bro.  
 — starr

you are hilarious,
nicely done.
 — jenakajoffer

please do this website a favor and hit the "remove from top-rated" button
it is really sad that this would be #1 and surely you know that
just makes this website seem more a joke than it already is
i give it a 5 out of 10
 — unknown

Wow, that's the first time I've ever had comments removed by the moderator for one of my poems. Now my curiosity is REALLY stimulated!

Hehe, I guess a poem's like a lot of other things - you either love it or hate it. Thanks to everyone who voted!
 — DrakeScott

Thought I'd take a crack (so to speak) at restructuring this piece. Previously, it was a dense two stanzas, but I wondered what would happen if I gave it a roomier, more playful structure. Poetry to strip (fixtures) to, perhaps. ;-)
 — DrakeScott

The title needs work but the poem is great.
 — hairlessclam

A fun read that made me smile.
 — bing

why is it wrong for peolple to enjoy a joke? it doesn't make this website any worse, it gives some people a laugh that's alll!!! this poem is funny as hell and it deserves to be enjoyed!!!! everyone needs to chill the fuck out! i give this a 10
 — zekejacobi

Hairlessclam (eww!).. thanks for your comment. I admit, the title is a bit corny, but I find the pun irresistable. It's childish, I know... :-)
 — DrakeScott

Bing & Zeke,
Thanks to you, too, for taking a moment to share your thoughts with me. I'm glad you were able to appreciate it in the playful spirit it was intended.
 — DrakeScott

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