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i am
unbridled youth:
monarch of the apple core.
blood on the streets:
yes, please.
the harder, the faster the beats:
oh, baybee.
i have forgotten where
the line is.

14 Jun 07

Rated 8.5 (8.5) by 2 users.
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i like it.
 — OKcomputer

I feel as if I've read line 3 before and too many times at that.

I like the last two lines a great deal.

The middle stanza seems like a stretch.
 — Rixes

interesting, I like.
 — unknown

I like the last two lines and i like the tone; my problem with it is that it's a bit too throwaway for what it wants to say, which is very profound indeed ( and it gets part of the way there). I very rarely advocate more words, but that might be the solution here; I like the bravura of the voice.
 — opal

Nice title - very nice title.
 — opal

I would agree that it ends a little abruptly.
Rixes, the term "apple core" is reoccuring in my shit.
Thanks for the comments, baybees.
 — mixtapeboy

 — unknown

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