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jeunesse
mixtapeboy

i am
 1
unbridled youth:
 2
monarch of the apple core.
 3
 
 
blood on the streets:
 4
yes, please.
 5
the harder, the faster the beats:
 6
oh, baybee.
 7
 
 
i have forgotten where
 8
the line is.
 9

14 Jun 07

Rated 8.5 (8.5) by 2 users.
Active (2): 8, 9
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(define the words in this poem)
(3 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

i like it.
 — OKcomputer

I feel as if I've read line 3 before and too many times at that.

I like the last two lines a great deal.

The middle stanza seems like a stretch.
 — Rixes

interesting, I like.
 — unknown

I like the last two lines and i like the tone; my problem with it is that it's a bit too throwaway for what it wants to say, which is very profound indeed ( and it gets part of the way there). I very rarely advocate more words, but that might be the solution here; I like the bravura of the voice.
 — opal

Nice title - very nice title.
 — opal

I would agree that it ends a little abruptly.
Rixes, the term "apple core" is reoccuring in my shit.
Thanks for the comments, baybees.
 — mixtapeboy

what?
 — unknown

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