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someone's playing a cello

I'm not finished with this by a stretch. I was wondering what y'all think and could you perhaps help with a better title? Thanks.

Down in the bottoms
someone’s playing a cello.
You can just hear its
echo massaging the
walls of
Down in the bottoms
my toes curl like talons in
the gray dandruff of ash
shaken from the
wings of
shocked Angels.
Down in the bottoms
mannequins melt into
bubbling blobs,
shredded cobwebby souls
from singed fingers of trees.

9 Jun 07

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(18 more poems by this author)

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I like the title - it drew me in and I like the first stanza very much - especially how the smooth sound contrasts with the 'walls of pandemonium.' The second two stanzas are not so sharp and lose a bit of their impact in the abstraction of over description - a few too many 'shredded cobwebby' type things that are too vague really. Sharpen those up and I think it will be really good.
 — opal

I agree with opal.  The only other thing I'd have to say is that your "down in the bottoms" could be a bit confusing.  I understood, but I think maybe "hollows" would fit as well.
 — 1994

Thanks for reading and commenting opal and 1994, I'll definitely look into your suggestions.
 — blee73