poetry critical

online poetry workshop



four four four
SenorSin

I was born and you apologized, and you quit reading plays
 1
 
 
cuz your wife hates musicals and says there kinda gay
 2
 
 
I rhyme in simple syllables because I have shitty days
 3
 
 
My stanzas end in four, God sheds no tears today
 4

8 Jun 07

Rated 5 (5) by 1 users.
Active (1): 5
Inactive (0):

(define the words in this poem)
(12 more poems by this author)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

cuz?  Are you sure you want that and not 'because?"

Line 2 - there needs to be they're.  
Line 3 - rhyme, syllables

This doesn't make sense at all, not only because your stanzas don't end in four but mostly because they don't add up to anything I can see.  
 — Isabelle5

thank you, my spelling is terrible.
 — SenorSin

I'm interested in what the four represents.  Oops, you conjoined syllables to because.
 — Isabelle5

the space bar and I don't get along.

four represents the maddening amount of lines in my stanzas that I cannot seem to break from.
 — SenorSin

hahahaha!  
 — Isabelle5

I rhyme in simple syllables too but I wish you had a stronger theme or voice in your piece. Don't get hung up on length, work with what you got. Give me four lines of genius and I won't care to think on length. good luck.
 — Trish77

0.525s