poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Hoosiers
HTSA

A Hoosier has no use for studied phrases,
 1
polished faces, or winning wiles;
 2
A Hoosier deals no lavish praises,
 3
and dons no surface smiles.
 4
A Hoosier follows his own diction,
 5
Shuns the blandishments of art,
 6
Boldly severing truth from fiction,
 7
Directing straight to the heart.
 8
A Hoosier has it on his condition,
 9
Scorning a narrow-minded creed,
 10
Fervently effecting its mission,
 11
Be it word or deed.
 12
A Hoosier yips at the faint and weary,
 13
thinks it makes a timid spirit brave,
 14
Warns the erring, lights the dreary,
 15
Smoothing the passage to the grave.
 16
A Hoosier is thought as egotistic raven,
 17
though all through life's alloted span,
 18
he nurtures, strengthens, widens, lengthens,
 19
his relationship with fellow man.
 20

3 Jun 07

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a hoosier may be lacking tact very, very much...
 — greenmantle

I liked that basketball movie.
 — unknown

This made me wet my panty hoose

Barry Bullshit
 — unknown

Hoosiers suck.
 — unknown

Crock of shit.
 — unknown

A Hoosier is lacking intelligence.
 — unknown

Right on brother.
 — unknown

A Hoosier is a cocksucker.
 — unknown

"though all through life's alloted span,
18
he nurtures, strengthens, widens, lengthens,
19
his relationship with fellow man."
---
The hoosier whom I know
is a third-rate hypocrite.

He tenders death threats every day
he does not eat the lime of crows.

---
 — reidORnetsky

Everybody wants to kill Netsky. I live in Missouri and I'd like to see him dead.
 — unknown

translation of killa  commentary just above:
"Everybody, I live dead in Missouri"
---
Hoosier poet, your poem remains broken.  Why?
Just one line, exampled:

"A Hoosier is thought as egotistic raven"

What's wrong there?  
 — reidORnetsky

What's wrong with a fifty year old man who acts like a nine year old. Everything. What's wrong with this poem. Not much.
 — unknown

OK, attack-critic-critic, tell us what's "good" about this poem?
The rhyme is straight out of grammar school Poetry Day 1930.

What a fresh (not) line:
Directing straight to the heart

God, this is why regular people hate poetry.  This poem gives them reason
to hate both poetry and "hoosiers".
 — reidORnetsky

You know nothing about poetry, Netsky and your opinion doesn't mean squat.
 — HTSA

Hoosiers was a great movie. Jack & Diane were two American kids growing up in the Indiana Heartland and doing the best the can. They held on to sixteen for as long as the could. Then changes came and made them a woman and man. Netsky is a woman and Banditfemme is his man.
 — unknown

weird, i thought i was the only one who wrote poetry about Hoosiers. i feel so cliche.
 — bowiegirl

John Mellencamp writes poetry about Hoosiers too, bowiegirl. reidORnetsky writes third grade poems. HTSA writes fine enough.
 — unknown

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