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Loss Of Face
banditfemme

You peeled off my face,
 1
defenseless grape.
 2
Crooned, "let the world
 3
see you now ugly bitch."
 4
 
 
I bowed my head;
 5
grew a new face in the dark,
 6
skin thick as a mattress.
 7
 
 
My muscular pores
 8
will suck you in
 9
semen, head, tail
 10
and bones.
 11
 
 
Call it a crime
 12
of honour.
 13

27 May 07

Rated 8.8 (8.8) by 8 users.
Active (8): 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10
Inactive (0): 9

(define the words in this poem)
(12 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

Hi bandidfemme

S1 yes
S2 yes
S3 yes

call it what it is, REVENGE!

I have no idea what i'm talking about, but i sure enjoyed your poem
 — unknown

This really spoke to me. 7/10
 — Henry

hi bandit

i like line 7. this poem is written differently to me than your others. i still like it though.
 — raskolniikov

Hi BF. this is Freaky!
Though i am not sure if muscles have pores.
It should be the skin, no?

well even if u dont change it .. it doesnt make any difference because this is truly compelling.
 — trochee

Feminism gone Surreal!  Buy the video!  I know I would!
This is a thumbs up review for a raw and unreal-but-real poem
 — netskyIam

nice.  very very nice
 — themolly

You go grrrl! Fancy first stanza got me in a headlock right from the start.

1 gnat: add a colon to line9's end (I just read it like you were sucking me in semen, not as in you were sucking all of me and my semen and bones in).

That's all though. What a breeze.
 — Virgil

ouch.
 — jumpoline

i think your ending is too cute for itself. is my only criticism.

5-7 is very japanese. fumiko. whole thing is kinda actually. i love fumiko.

you get 10 for that, 11 for better ending.
 — jumpoline

Powerful.

S3 does read a bit odd with "muscular pores", could possibly be improved.
 — rocket

Another terrible  poem.
 — unknown

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