Pamplona Roja |
blee73
|
some day I’ll make something of myself,
|
1 |
seize the satyr by its hairy throat
|
2 |
like a matador
|
3 |
and squeeze
|
4 |
the wine from life’s bota,
|
5 |
smoke black cigars,
|
6 |
waltz on the precipice
|
7 |
before I’m gored,
|
8 |
bleeding on the sand.
|
9 |
|
26 May 07 |
Rated 9 (9) by 2 users.
Active (2): 9, 9
Inactive (0):
(define the words in this poem)
(22 more poems by this author)
|
Add A Comment:
|
Comments:
line 8 -- ditch the "ing" on waltz
economical and colourful
lovely sonics
— banditfemme
agrees with banditfemme on the waltz not ing
do matadors bleed on cobblestones?
good poem
thanks
— unknown
banditfemme and unknown,
Thanks for the comments and suggestions. I will definitely change line 8. I think the "waltz" will work better. I doubt matadors bleed on cobblestones unless they cut themselves shaving, so I'll check into changing that as well. Thanks so much for your help.
— blee73
entertain 'bleeding on the sand'.
— aerol
Thanks aerol, I'll make that change. I think you're right.
— blee73
kill mythical. love bota. terse verse.
— jumpoline
Oooh....I'm married to that one. Oh well, "kill your darlings," so they say. I'll try it out and see how it fits. Thanks for reading and helping.
— blee73
i know you're married to it. now play like liz taylor and push it off a balcony.
— jumpoline
|
|
Newest (expand)
- Don't Keep it Inside
- Lunar Dews
- Salvation???
- //bartender at suzie-Q's on thursday mornings//
- BLUE OR BORED
- she drives by my house every couple of weeks
- Lost at Sea
- pizza en retard pour nuit
- A Run-[On] How I Hate Where They Located Me
- Birthday
- god will forget about the weather
- CDXX
- step-aside
- flamingos that danced
- Organic decibels
Recently Commented (expand)
|