poetry critical

online poetry workshop



nomenclature
unknown

she asked her father
 1
why things need several names.
 2
why is mommie called
 3
honey or sweetheart,
 4
their doggy sam,
 5
poochie or woofiedoo
 6
or why is she called little
 7
baby or sweetiedoll
 8
instead of keisha jones.
 9
 
 
then she paused and
 10
asked why on the bus they
 11
call her nigger hater
 12
and her friend
 13
a stupid jew.
 14

20 May 07

Rated 8 (8) by 5 users.
Active (5): 7, 7, 8, 9, 10
Inactive (0):

(define the words in this poem)



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Comments:

I like the line breaks and I think the effect is well done, but I can't see the reason for capitalizing Sam, but not Keisha Jones. Capitalizing all pronouns would make for better continuity.
 — SteelAngel

effective
 — photobooth

I admire everything about this poem with the exception of the title, which I find to be coy. Keisha Jones --A good, solid awning for your poem.
 — banditfemme

it's a terrible joke
 — unknown

I like it, but I feel it could be better. It's a bit obvious. However it is sweet.
 — unknown

yeah, the title is shit.
 — unknown

she then paused and
 — unknown

reminds me of the life of pi
 — unknown

I like this title. This poem has very sharp teeth.
 — banditfemme

wow strong. watch capitals. this is good. I'd call it "she asked why" nice and simple.
 — Trish77

alright ignore capitals remark. not paying attention. sorry!
 — Trish77

Oh, gut puncher!  Sticks and stones break bones which heal, words can wreck you forever.  
 — Isabelle5

Is this site for real and are you people real?   Is this really a workshop for
Mother Mary's Mental Institution?  If you all fart is that a symphony?
 — unknown

poignant.
 — luvscost

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