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The Read See?

A man once asked me if I enjoyed cheese on toast.
"Of course!" I replied, matter-of-factly.
He then proceeded to bludgeon me with a cinderblock.
The moral of the story:
Facts are abstract, not concrete.

20 May 07

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As a fact, the cinderblock -was- concrete and therefore, factually concrete concrete.
Your logic premise fails.  However, you can make this into a fun thing by fixing the lack, the error in logic.

Unless the poetry is pure whimsy, logic of a normal sort is necessary.
Even  in pure whimsy, logic of a -permutated- sort is vital.
Your logic here is just plain short-handled.

Think of sounds.  Don't use cliche phrases ("he then proceeded to.."

He asked me, "You like cheese on toast?"
"Of course I do!", I beamed.
He hit me with a cinderblock.
Now,  if that suggests a moral,
some message I should eat, its that
some facts are sort of abstract
and others are concrete.
 — netskyIam

Basically, you're re-writing my work for me.  And while I do understand your minsunderstanding, your suggestion is a little unappealing.  Not to mention I don't like your take on poem.

I don't mind cliche.  It fitted.  "Hitting" is no better; if anything, it's more bland.  I like that he "proceeded" to "bludgeon" me.  It fits with the meaning more.

I wasn't speaking of the cinderblock being a fact, and this man was teaching me as such.

"Of course!" I replied, matter-of-factly.

Matters at hand, or even of the mind, are normally considered abstract.  The matter at THIS hand was "opinion" (abstract, no?).  This man was adament on keeping options open.  He believed facts to be abstract, and "I" disregarded that.  Said "first person" was then lectured with a cinderblock (haha! Made of concrete!) to prove his point.

My logic is fine.
 — Aziel

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