poetry critical

online poetry workshop

Self Portrait- The Unseen Photos

You don’t remember me,
I sat at the back of the class.
Would not return
your contemptuous smiles
that rendered me invisible.
I was robbed of  good intentions,
and the right to exist in your eyes.
You tried to make me stateless
within your state of mind.
Made me crazy.
You’ll never comprehend
how I came to hate.
I’ll send all the photographs, a video,
the stunning likeness to the other me.
By the time these are shown you’ll be dead.
I’m coming for you, compelled
to redeem my likeness.

19 May 07

Rated 9 (9) by 2 users.
Active (2): 8, 10
Inactive (0):

(define the words in this poem)
(234 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


Unrequited love.
Ahh this reminds me of my college days.
I wish i could have written this.
May be i will.
Thank you poet.
Love the ending.
Love the second stanza...
 — trochee

Hey Larry thanks a lot buddy.
 — trochee

Hi Trochee

your comment has made me deliriously happy as I sit under the miserable clouds of Cup Final morning. You have interpreted the poem in a way I had never thought of as I wrote this after reading about the terrible slaughter recently in an American University and attempted to try to understand why that student went on the rampage.Thats what I like a lot about this site. You sometimes get your eyes wide opened to other possibilities. Thanks Trochee.

Larry layers Lark
 — larrylark

yes yes yes
 — trochee

Dear Trochee

I wish sometimes I could rid my poems of a preoccupation with death slaughter and misery. What I would really like to write are endless variations on "Happiness Is A Bum Face" but I guess we have to go where our pen takes us. Its good to talk or tap, I'm not sure of the right description when the house is dead and quiet with everyone else sound asleep but I know it will be absolute chaos in here in about an hour when my son wakes up along with his two friends who have slept over and will be staying to watch the Cup Final this afternoon. Take care now Trochee and have a good day or night or whatever time it is where you are.

Larry dead of day Lark
 — larrylark

agree with trochee,
just that it brought me back to junior high.
keep it up larry
 — photobooth

Dear photobooth

I do  kep trying but I'm not as young as I used to be.

Larry creaky arthritic old bastard Lark
 — larrylark

nice. i like how each stanza varies in tone, brings different meaning to each one which in turn brings different meanings to the poem itself. i like the use of the word unseen, slight humor behind that i'm not sure why.
 — listen

perhaps you could incorporate the word lazy in stanza two, to rhyme with the use of the good old word crazy; i suggest this because, were you aware that comprehend rhymed with send? perhaps you could use that rhyming idea for the first stanza which doesn't have it but could have it.

 — listen

please disregard the above comment. it has fallen under misdemeanor that rhyme schemes make a good poem better, but to do so would change this poem entirely, damage it as it would basically be asking you to change the content here; i think it is perfect, has nothing else to please. (at least as far as the awesomeness of this poem.)
 — listen

Larry this is one of your best, I really like how you have constructed this poem, the line breaks etc, first class.
ok ok i do have a nit. L4 & 5,  contempt sure could make you feel invisible
but it's not working for me poetically, sorry
Great poem my friend
there's life in the old fella yet ;)
 — unknown

Dear Unknown

Thanks for your kind reply and you will be pleased to hear there is life in the old dog yet.

Larry forever young Lark
 — larrylark