poetry critical

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Buenos diiiassss

Good morning, America!
The coffee’s breath should tug you by the tie soon enough—
but not enough
to choke you like it ought to.
It’s not forgotten your
pumpkin carving, candy corn stupidities,
nor the seemingly delicious taste of injustice
borne in foreign sweat.
Breathe in your vain and momentary sigh of tranquility
and take a sip of rich brown symbolism,
so from here on end we could greet you “good morning”
when the sun stretches its pinkish frown
across the horizon.
Yes, let the caffeine and the tragically ironic ignorance that is your freedom keep your eyes open forever,
so that someday the light can break through the red brick walls of your pupils
and give you something
to really live for.

15 May 07

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Well said except that every American isn't unjust, ignorant or blind. There are those who care. There are even those who care and do something about it! If you're speaking of Mexicans as I think you may be, pick up a book called "Lines and Shadows" by Joseph Wambaugh. It's based on fact, old history at the Mexico/US border but it does show that some people both care and do something. I found it sad and grim but compelling and brave too. I hope you find it and enjoy it as I did. Believe me, not all Americans are pompous assholes though some surely are!
 — gandalf

PS - Via con Dios!!!
 — gandalf

Hate-mongering on an American-bred poetry site.  Welcome.  The writing isn't bad, the sentiment is biased and bigoted.  Let America open her borders all the way and see how many rush to come here.
 — Isabelle5

*sigh*  Yes, yes, but there is hope for the next generation who has heard this message about a billion times...you just may have to wait ten years until they're old enough to "be" America.  We can't all jump at once...though thats probably the only way to change.
 — unknown

It's not about mexicans or immigration or any of that.
It's about priviledge and taking things for granted.
I wasn't born here, I was born in Cuba and lived half my life in Ecuador, but I would still consider myself an American. It goes unsaid that there are ignorant and priviledged people everywhere in the world...

Anyway...any constructive cirticism?
Would changing America to "Developed" or "Industrialized World" make people happier?
 — cantares91