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In my yard
is a poet tree
where Ogden hangs
in effigy.

13 May 07

Rated 8.8 (8.8) by 8 users.
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Is "hands" meant, or "hangs"?

Now, look at line breaks for your sweetly terrible tribute to the man?
Short lines are wanted for your genius zinger:

In my yard
is a poet tree
where Ogden hangs
in effigy
 — netskyIam

And you may agree you do not even want a title for this item.
It's so much better not to spoil it until "too late".  Hit your reader
fresh in the face with the surprise.
 — netskyIam

Thanks for the advice.  Much better now.
 — skinnyJon

Maybe if you changed the title to only "Nash" that would evoke the surprise factor netsky was referring to.
 — Rixes

nice poem,
but I agree with Rixes,
 — jenakajoffer

I too would have enjoyed the suprise factor, but either way, great little poem/tribute.
 — adiscodancer

no title is the best title for small verse.

people preoccupy too much with titles.

if you make a collection some day of similarly brilliant small gems,

put them on the printed page and SEE that none want titles.

titles can wring dead a bon mot verse.
 — netskyIam

I've got to own up and say that in this instance nutskers has actually ( shock! ... horror!) well improved your poem. His 'no title' idea also makes some sense though Ogden seems to have been quite happy titling his own little efforts. Personally I would always have a title as it can add so much and it gives the poem an identity. Nash would be fine but I feel something more Ogdenish would be better. Super poem BTW. Well done!  :)
 — unknown

Perhaps the new title is trying too hard to be clever???
 — skinnyJon

feh to all! keep the title. is good! and also better with title. is why i read it.
is good to start punchline in the beginning...feh!
get rid of the capitol capitals though.
 — onklcrispy

Oh, my gosh, this is hilarious!
 — Isabelle5

I like this even better with the new title
 — unknown

love this - brought a big smile as i read it

 — Mongrol

Miss Rafferty wore taffeta, the taffeta was lavender, they gobbled pickeled mackerel and broke the candlarbara.  Why on earth would anyone want to hang Ogden Nash?  The man's writings (especially this one) were hilarious!  
 — starr

More Ogden -

I think that I shall never see
a billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all!
 — Isabelle5

terse verse.

 — jumpoline

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