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man in a wheelchair in front of the va hospital
unknown

gayle was a brick tender
 1
for the entirety
 2
of his working life.
 3
 
 
at forty-five
 4
he took a night class
 5
in sociology
 6
at drake.
 7
 
 
sometimes after class
 8
he'd drink irish whiskey
 9
with the professor
 10
at Flanagan's.
 11
 
 
one night
 12
the professor was shit-faced
 13
he hit on the girlfriend
 14
of drake's middle linebacker.
 15
 
 
gayle stepped in
 16
broke the kid's jaw
 17
spent a week in jail.
 18
 
 
the professor
 19
is now an esteemed lecturer
 20
at an ivy league university.
 21
 
 
he's written an autobiography
 22
and there is gayle
 23
on page 122.
 24
 
 
only the sum-bitch
 25
calls me randy,
 26
says he saved my ass
 27
with some slick words.
 28
 
 
but i'll give him that
 29
seein as i took thirty
 30
maybe forty
 31
good pulls
 32
with his wife.
 33

6 May 07

Rated 9.6 (9.6) by 7 users.
Active (7): 7, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (0):

(define the words in this poem)



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Comments:

great format for a prose-poem, neither clunky nor chunky but smooth and wicked.
 — banditfemme

b,

thanks for reading the thing.

justin.
 — unknown

Justin,

If you run a blog, could you kindly email its whereabouts. I'm very keen on reading your collection.

bF
 — banditfemme

bF,

hello:

i don't have a blog.  but my first chapbook of poetry is coming out soon.  if you would be interested in obtaining a copy, you can email me at

if you google "justin hyde" "poetry"  you can find a bunch of my poems published on line.

thanks for the interest.

justin.
 — unknown

very nicely written. kept me hooked. i agree with banditfemme, well formatted prose.

line 13 feels like it needs a dash or a semi-colon at the end of it to ensure ot runs on well into line 14. or even just put the word 'and' in (i know it's an ugly word, but an unavoidable one sometimes).

apart from that,
nice work Justin.
9/10
Eso
 — Esoteric

thats so good, i have to drop the act, and say superb
 — jeremybeadle

Hi Justin.  Good stuff, always the content.
Ideas:   "for his whole working life"; it's just the way people say that most often.


he took a night class
at forty-five
in sociology
at drake

(see why that's better on every level?)

I like every other detail of the execution.

You don't make these things up, do you?
I thought not.
 — netskyIam

that's a possible issue depending on your criteria.

he doesnt make them therefore illustrating a narcisstic imagination.
 — unknown

im not certain whether this is intentionally unclear or just sloppy or i am stupid.
 — jumpoline

to be more specific i cant tell whether you're gayle or the linebacker or who the fuck you are in this.

but ill give you that
seein as how i took thirty
maybe forty good pulls
with your
wife...

:P
 — jumpoline

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