poetry critical

online poetry workshop

An apple

Lady says:
"It's impossible to whistle
after eating an apple."
Nay, I do discover,
performing my feat -
though it is a fruited sound,
my mouth being moist and sweet.
I could kiss an angel or nun
without the slightest shame,
and if they leave perverted
it's Eve who is to Blame.

2 May 07

Rated 8.5 (8.5) by 4 users.
Active (4): 7, 8, 9, 9
Inactive (0):

(define the words in this poem)
(12 more poems by this author)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


Oh, this is tasty, but why does poor apple always have to play the bad guy?
 — banditfemme

hahaha!  Cute
 — unknown

Apple isn't really a bady guy, I just like to rib him about his erroneous reputation.
He gets me back when he harbours sneaky insect stowaways or when he comes in the form of Granny Smith which is just a bit boring (no offence to my gran).
 — sisotowbel

okay, my advocacy on behalf of Apple is done.
Line 8 is delicious.
 — banditfemme

i like this^^ it reminds me of a lil joke me and my girl friend made about travelling back and time and telling eve that if she touched the apple we'd stomp her out^^ good times, goooooood times.......^^
 — LaFira

Hi sisotowbel

I have to say straight away I love your eyes and nose . You have obviously been really working out to get them so muscle bound. I love poems about nuns being kissed and angels, well! I also love references to sin and especially original sin, but most of all I love passing the blame and putting it somewhere else for after all most people should surely have realised by now that I'm practically perfect in every way.

Larry the messiah with a persecution complex Lark
 — larrylark

rather good, and funny, the latter not being easy by any means. the last line is too long. i suggest contracting 'who is'.
 — aerol

good poem,  I like the playful thought of its creation, Eve could be anybody or anything.....
 — gjenkins

larry the messiah, it takes devotion, many hours in the swim.
aerol, thanks for the suggestion,
all, thanks for the comments.
 — sisotowbel

i like apples.
did brittney just fart?
 — unknown

Like this, except for the nay in line 4, too pretentious.
 — unknown

Newest (expand)
  • Don't Keep it Inside
  • Lunar Dews
  • Salvation???
  • //bartender at suzie-Q's on thursday mornings//
  • she drives by my house every couple of weeks
  • Lost at Sea
  • pizza en retard pour nuit
  • A Run-[On] How I Hate Where They Located Me
  • Birthday
  • god will forget about the weather
  • CDXX
  • step-aside
  • flamingos that danced
  • Organic decibels
Recently Commented (expand)
Recent Best (expand)