poetry critical

online poetry workshop



yesterday, yesterday (for Ash)
wendz

love loudly, or not at all, she said,
 1
sip slowly at a glass of chardonnay, or perhaps
 2
a three hundred dollar bottle of moet,
 3
perhaps feel the alcohol seep through your senses,
 4
winding its way slowly down into your liver,
 5
 
 
that old, twisted road you've been on.
 6
again and again, wait outside for the passing train,
 7
cross the tracks into the station and leave your bags there,
 8
green; communistic, don't lose them -
 9
 
 
you'll need them where you're going,
 10
to ice capped mountains, snow, skiing and
 11
albedo-burns, run away from everything ugly,
 12
to a place beautiful, hide for a while,
 13
until you can breathe again.
 14
 
 
don a poet-hat, write in dark rooms,
 15
contemplate life and the way things are.
 16
 
 
be hefty, be music and words,
 17
hate yourself, love the world,
 18
feel pain like you've never felt it before.
 19
 
 
one last hug, and she was gone.
 20

26 Apr 07


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Comments:

there are bum notes everywhere but lots is salavageable like,

winding its way slowly down into your liver,/that old, twisted road you've been on./
again and again, wait outside for the passing train,  

make the imagery connect , roads and trains don't go
 — unknown

This is beautiful.  She must have been someone to meet.
 — CervusWright

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