poetry critical

online poetry workshop



hazards of precocious empiricism
unknown

Each area of your body  
 1
has a different number  
 2
of neurons. Thus, each  
 3
zone has a different  
 4
threshold by which  
 5
it will be aroused.  
 6
    
 7
That was all he learned  
 8
today. Everything that  
 9
followed was marginalized  
 10
by this amazing fact.  
 11
    
 12
He sat outstretched  
 13
on the bathroom floor  
 14
sliding year book pictures  
 15
back and forth along  
 16
his skin concluding  
 17
that true love must  
 18
either be not for him  
 19
or originate from  
 20
another privileged  
 21
locus.
 22

25 Apr 07

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Comments:

Very nice.  Thank you for having him do something unexpected in the bathroom!  I was expecting something else and not looking forward to it.  
 — Isabelle5

haha
 — unknown

nice poem.
 — varun

only, the ambiguity and the nature of plurality of 'book pictures' is too abstract for this.
 — varun

true story.
 — unknown

did he slide pics on his balls?
 — unknown

must have had pics of isabelle
 — unknown

hahah
 — unknown

consider 'sliding' in the previous line.
 — varun

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