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The Final Doubts of a Little Prince
Lexie

The elephant’s now lost to me,
 1
the one a snake eats, supposedly
 2
and I wonder if that’s not the trick-
 3
the way worlds are supposed to be.
 4
Is there something in the businessman’s
 5
obsession with the stars?
 6
And is the lamplighter fulfilled
 7
because he never sees the dark?
 8
And when the tippler
 9
drinks to shame
 10
when there’s no one else
 11
to take the blame
 12
has he found the point of this old game?
 13
Well, the conceited man, he knows his name
 14
but I’ve just stumbled through my travels
 15
never satisfied •
 16
or gratified
 17
by the way things have unraveled.
 18
yes, I’ve left behind my life,
 19
abandoned my love • with four small claws
 20
and I can see from here
 21
unkempt volcanoes • erupting into stars.
 22

27 Mar 07

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Comments:

your ideas are amazing! i must look up the word "tippler" though.
some lines need to be work; take another look at l: 7 & 11.
free-verse depends a lot on its scansion, and the dots are a bit distracting.
also watch the word "well."  
the first four lines are really effective and good.

:-)
 — punua_maikai

I changed one of the "well"s and i was wondering what it is that doesn't work in lines 7&11...
Thanks so much for the comments!
 — Lexie

Tippler is a drinker.

This reads like lyrics to me, must have music to come alive.  It ends on exactly the right words.  Line 22 is marvelous!
 — Isabelle5

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