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Judas the Iscariot

This poem is really long, but I can't really make it shorter, as it would take away from the meaning. So if you don't want to bear with it, maybe it would be best if you walked away now. Quietly, while nobody is looking...

is this how
is this how
is this how Judas
Judas the Iscariot felt
when he couldn’t wash the blood
of the Almighty from his hands
so he hung himself with
the blood still dripping
upon his shadow
as it swung to and fro
to and fro
to and fro?
I can almost
I can almost
almost see his body
a black silhouette
against a rainbow-filled dusk
but my view
my view is blocked by
my reflection
wearing a mask of gold
soaked with blood
that will someday turn to wine.
if he had
if he had licked his fingers
would he have tasted blood
or the blessed wine he drank
that were still on his lips
when he kissed Christ’s cheek
or the gold he was given
for selling God’s son
with the kiss as a sale’s pitch
or would he taste
what I taste on my fingers
fresh summer honey
with an aftertaste
of vinegar
did Jesus
did Jesus Christ
after He was resurrected
step on His own blood
which three days prior
was spread by
the dead fingers
of his fellow Galilean
and did He add His tears
to the shadow?
will the love
will the love
will the lover I sold
to sadists and soldiers
take the time
to stand in my shadow
and let his tears
wash the red raindrops
that would corrupt his face?
or instead
instead did He
pass the swinging body as if
it was a black cloud
that might disintegrate
despite its deep thunder?
and will his
and will his lips quiver
as he looks in my eyes
behind my mask
as they stare
at something far away
that has nothing to do
with us
or will he look past
my thundering body
at the sunset
glowing through the sky?
is this how
is this how
is this how Judas
Judas the Iscariot felt
when he couldn’t wash
the blood of who he loved
from his hands
and so gave up
with the blood still dripping
as it turned to wine
and his mask of gold
fell upon his shadow
as it swung to and fro
to and fro
to and fro?

23 Mar 07

Rated 9 (9) by 7 users.
Active (7): 1, 8, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10
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First off, your intro is f'ing hilarious, I loved it and it forced me to read it even though I scowled when I scrolled
the page, ha!
You rocked this poem.  That's it baby, yeah.
Great job, take is easy,
 — jenakajoffer

ha, it's you, the corpse bride...I just met you in the msg board. =-)
Great poem.
I can't give you crits to this, I just really like it, and you know it far better than I.
 — jenakajoffer

Thanks Jen. It's always nice to meet a fan. :-)
 — BrideInBlack

This takes a bit more than a superficial engagement so it may not receive the attention it deserves, I like the ground it covers and how it paces, not sure if the title doesn't obscure the more universal implications, anyway good one
 — unknown

oh yeah, it is the Corpse Bride(so we shall meet again) very nice....i must admit i didn't expect you to be so good, but this is great
 — Cherish

i didn't think i would like the repetition, but i really did.
 — inutile

The repetition creates a conversational tone, drama, emphasis, a sense of suspence even. Not only that but it makes the words sing. Really, really like it.  That fifth stanza shocked my senses.  Messed me up with the literal meaning and then made me search for the metaphorical.  That's what art's supposed to do, I think.  Mess you up.
This really messes me up.  And I enjoyed it.
 — unknown

excuse me. but you are very wrong about this poem.
About half of it could be removed and it would still have all its meaning.
what there is of it.

how can you say it is conversational?
Do you stutter when you talk?
 — unknown

nice poem.
 — hank

I disagree with shortening it, I think the repetition signals that there needs to be some consideration to find the full implications, uncovered meaning are lost on some readers but I have come back to this to comment as since reading it when it first was posted it has triggered off some rethinking of my own past conduct, so I believe the use of this convention is appropriate and successfully executed here.
 — unknown

congrats on the great feedback you've received
and to the success of this poem, well done!
 — jenakajoffer

Thanks for the warm wishes, Jen. And thanks everyone for the great input! I'm glad everyone liked the repitition; it was very experimental for me, as was the length. :-)  I also didn't know whether I should say "to and fro" or "back and forth" when describing the hanging bodies. I guess it's fine the way it is, though.

Thanks again!
 — BrideInBlack

everyone did not like the repetition
 — unknown

Sorry; I meant, I'm glad MOST people liked the repitition. My bad. :-/
 — BrideInBlack

Nothing here for me. Trying to hard.

 — unknown

nice work, Bride. i really like how you use the word "felt" in the opening and closing, subliminal message of "fell." the repetition is odd, but used well at least. doesn't seem too long for me, in fact, the length strikes me as perfect.

welcome to the possibility of a reader liking this.
 — listen

Up until halfway through this I thought I did not like the repetition but by the end I was enjoying it. In most cases this doesn't work but it add depth to your poem. I liked it a lot, in some places the style reminded me of Milton's Paradise Lost but in modern day language.
L50, I don't know whether lover is a typo cos it's not a word I would have used, love works well.
Great poem BrideInBlack
 — angrychick

god set up Judas!

it was a frame-up
 — Mongrol

yes, nice work. nice. work. here.
 — unknown

I like this.. I don't think I would like the repitition normally, but the mood you put the reader in makes it work.
 — Edgewater