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wet slippers
varun

had it not been
 1
for her showing up
 2
i would still be drying
 3
after my shower
 4
lazing towel-wrapped
 5
in the bedroom
 6
and all she wanted
 7
was her book back
 8

22 Mar 07

Rated 7 (7) by 2 users.
Active (2): 7, 7
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Comments:

i like this - but it needs more story, more of something
 — Mongrol

had it not
been for her showing
up i would still be
drying
after my shower lazing
towel-wrapped in
the bedroom and all
she wanted
was her book back
 — unknown

^ * nice poem * ^
 — unknown

hello.
 — varun

i like this.  i'm fond of titles that are explained by the story but aren explicitly mentioned in the poem.  i like how you have turned "drying" into an activity; wish i had that leisure. maybe...

were it not for
her intrusion
i would still be
drying
lazing towel-wrapped
in the bedroom;
i could have returned her book tomorrow.

though i know you are naturally averse to punctuation.  why is it such a temptation to mess with short poems?
 — balancing

I can visualize the wet towel scene.  Did she remember to take her book?
 — Isabelle5

balancing, long time. how are ya?
thanks for your comment/suggestions.
think i'll just leave this one alone.

she took the book. and my towel.
 — unknown

i think this is very amusing..

and i prefer your breaks to the unknown. just my opinion.

thanks
ilene
 — ilenelush

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