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whirlaway
cee

Fluttering butterfly silently free,
 1
quietly coloring all that I see.
 2
Upon fields  ablaze in golden light,
 3
so gracefully you dance,
 4
like a windblown life.
 5

21 Mar 07

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Comments:

ablaze
is one word, no?

golden light is used too often. i, myself, have used it too many times.

i'm sure you can find a better alternative for 'gracefully', for this nice picture you paint.

also, string and a kite doesn't seem to work because the 'and a' disconnects the kitre from the string.
would you consider reformatting just that?

nice poem.
thanks.
 — varun

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