poetry critical

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Subway
unknown

A shadow of Thatcherism
 1
grouts post war subway.
 2
Fragrant ghost of industry,
 3
enmeshed in political lathes
 4
Alsation warm,
 5
flesh – tenement grey
 6
trading Lennon for put downs
 7
from pinstriped shadows.
 8
 
 
In moth dead flicker
 9
Elisabeth shines
 10
On a suede quarry of indignity,
 11
the purifier of conscience
 12
next to a beaker marked ‘M’
 13
and a clown high on lows
 14
with a name no one knows.
 15
 
 
He hurls a chorus to a neon nymph,
 16
a high heel lyric for twelve bar blues.
 17
Four pounds eight pence later
 18
moon turns to foil
 19
hope to latex
 20
wrapped around an arm
 21
that once made Daimler's.
 22

18 Mar 07

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Comments:

I usually don’t like poetry that makes me feel stupid.  Not stupid, I guess, but uninformed—as stupid people often are.  I’m not onto some of the references, like Alsation (a company?), suede quarry (seats?), and the beaker marked ‘M’.

What I am getting is a gritty montage of an anonymous auto worker turned heroin user.  There’s a lot of political hostility that I can only brush up to—maybe because I’m a yank.

The very good news is that I’m being forced to see a kaleidoscopic tableau in my mind, one that I’ve never visited physically.  That takes some impressive crafting (AKA art).

Fwiw, 3-8 is a fragment.  There is no period at the end of 10, yet you start 11 with upper case.

The beginnings and endings of each of your sections are very strong.  Nicely done.
 — wily

the suede quarry is the guitar case and the dog keeps him warm.
 — unknown

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