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you don't know how much
SweetPain

I want to:
 1
 
 
fall in between your arms and feel the rhythm of your breath against my neck
 2
feel the twitching of your foot against the table leg
 3
see the nervous look in your eye when  I walk in the room
 4
hear the sigh of relief when you hear my voice
 5
fight with you for passion's sake
 6
 
 
tell you the truth.
 7

17 Mar 07

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comments?
 — SweetPain

This is something. Not exactly sure what... but it's something. If anything,  please fix line seven.  
 — unknown

better?
 — SweetPain

....?
 — SweetPain

I don't get line 3, how do you feel the foot twitching against the table leg? To be honest, I don't think that line is necessary as it adds nothing and sort of breaks the thought flow of the rest. Apart from that, I like this. I feel for you not being able to tell him/her the truth but the truth is the only way (in most cases) even if you don't get the reaction you want.
 — angrychick

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