poetry critical

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Paper Hearts [Do] Bleed
luvscost

If only “I love you” could bridge the vast expanse of hearts
 1
like the sky. He’s at sitting at the kitchen table in his light blue robe
 2
thinking about her, remembering and hoping;
 3
 
 
he always remembers the good times, but Never the bad:
 4
 
 
like the time they drove around town for hours,
 5
(the same bridge for over 50 miles)
 6
not because they’re headed anywhere but simply
 7
as an excuse to spend time learning more about each other
 8
 
 
he had chosen to forget about the broken bottles and broken hearts
 9
 
 
she’s rushing about the streets downtown, reading the daily paper,
 10
and also sipping on coffee
 11
(though in a disposable Styrofoam cup),
 12
not wondering  if he’s dreaming of her.
 13
He lifts the ceramic coffee mug
 14
(she had bought it for him a year ago-
 15
it has Garfield the cat on it; Garfield is his nickname),
 16
sees her reflection inside, takes a gulp, and swallows his sorrow.
 17
He adds a lump of sugar;
 18
remorse has left a bitter taste in his mouth.
 19
She bustles on,
 20
throwing away the paper,
 21
just like she threw away their love.
 22

16 Mar 07


(define the words in this poem)
(4 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

(phrasing things like this is stupid)
 — InMyBlood

Yeah. Kinda pointless doing that.
 — DeathShards

maybe true,
but i like the meaning on the whole.
 — photobooth

i wasn't trying to go for extraordinary use of phrasing or language or metaphors or whatever other criteria is used to judge if a poem is of a sufficient quality.

i was going for the meaning, and if that has been efficiently conveyed, i did what i set out to do. and that's all that matters to me.
 — luvscost

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