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luvscost
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you bring bubbling forward
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the murky depths of my heart
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buried thoughts
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old emotions
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dead dreams
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rise steaming to the surface
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16 Mar 07 |
Rated 5 (5) by 1 users.
Active (1): 5
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photobooth
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Comments:
can't take my eyes off it.
— photobooth
Can't say I've read other poems like this...wait...wait...I must have gotten this confused with something original and new. Sorry...this has been done before, and even better somtimes. Bog is a good topic...look for your inner Poe, and write another poem about a bog. 5/10
— Henry
Henry, if you find it mediocre, please tell me how to improve it. there's no need to be an ass about it. its called "constructive criticism." this isn't a forum to cut others down to make yourself feel better. instead help me improve my writing.
— luvscost
hmm Luvs ... perhaps expand the metaphor more - think about boglands and swamps - the flora an fauna that lives there - myths an legends - time sof day - effects the light might have - sensations when being actually there
the words you use are your choice ultimately - but the picture you paint needs a deeper canvass
:)
— Mongrol
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