poetry critical

online poetry workshop



bog
luvscost

you bring bubbling forward
 1
the murky depths of my heart
 2
buried thoughts
 3
old emotions
 4
dead dreams
 5
rise steaming to the surface
 6

16 Mar 07

Rated 5 (5) by 1 users.
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photobooth



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Comments:

can't take my eyes off it.
 — photobooth

Can't say I've read other poems like this...wait...wait...I must have gotten this confused with something original and new. Sorry...this has been done before, and even better somtimes. Bog is a good topic...look for your inner Poe, and write another poem about a bog. 5/10
 — Henry

Henry, if you find it mediocre, please tell me how to improve it. there's no need to be an ass about it. its called "constructive criticism." this isn't a forum to cut others down to make yourself feel better. instead help me improve my writing.
 — luvscost

hmm Luvs ... perhaps expand the metaphor more - think about boglands and swamps - the flora an fauna that lives there - myths an legends - time sof day - effects the light might have - sensations when being actually there

the words you use are your choice ultimately - but the picture you paint needs a deeper canvass

:)
 — Mongrol

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