poetry critical

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I never thought of myself as weak…
I’ve always lasted through the night
Without crying, or screaming from the fright
But a few simple sentences of rage
Release all of my carefully hidden emotions from their cage
you don’t know how I feel
If you did… would you care?
Sometimes I think you laugh at my weakness…
That you do it for fun..
But when I’m fine.. and you say a few things.. and I’m crying like a bloody baby!!
Why must I allow myself to be weak like this?
Why can’t I be strong?
I want to hold it in!! I do!!
But I cant….
It flows without me…
Dripping down my cheeks…
Might as well be blood… for all you’ve done to me.
I can numb the pain.. I can be happy…
But why must you release it?! Like it’s been building up for months…
Why can’t you let me enjoy my happiness?
my body is shivering.. as if I was freezing…
but I could be… in myself, I am frozen..
but you light the match.. light the fire, no the firestorm..
and you melt it all away…
I’m aware of all of my feelings… oh so aware….
Why does the knife look so inviting?
….. I wish I could lie down and sleep..
Sleep an endless sleep, so I wouldn’t have to deal with people…
Or these stupid cruel jokes you put me through…
Be with only myself… the only one who accepts me wholly.
But even then… I think I hate myself more than anyone else…
Trust is pain… love is agony…
Trust no one.. love no one…
Alone forever…
It’s how it’s supposed to be…..

13 Mar 07

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(5 more poems by this author)

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