poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Garnet
Muzatsu

Behold,
 1
Stone face,
 2
The blood color
 3
Of your pendant glow.
 4
 
 
A woman still enslaved,
 5
You hold your tongue
 6
Eat your anger—
 7
Consume it whole.
 8
 
 
If insults afflict you,
 9
Instead of vengeance
 10
shyness dulls the mind;
 11
ineptitude paralyzes.
 12
 
 
You let that foreigner—
 13
Rage— slow like molasses
 14
Grow fetid and cold into
 15
a tangible sadness.
 16
 
 
Pain hardens like a mineral
 17
Locks itself away
 18
Passively gathering—
 19
Growing larger…
 20
 
 
Stone face, slowly turn
 21
See how your crux burns
 22
Violent, candy red, possessed—
 23
Know that I am You.
 24

13 Mar 07

Rated 4 (4) by 2 users.
Active (2): 3, 5
Inactive (0):

(define the words in this poem)
(17 more poems by this author)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

I really like first and last verses.  Something about the others leaves me feeling as if the writing is hiding something on purpose.

If insults afflict you
instead of vengeance
stupor dulls the mind...

What does that mean, exactly?  Are you missing some vital punctuation?  It might be that some of your tenses seem to go from active to passive and from present to past without reason.

Can you explain?  
 — Isabelle5

Hmmm the punctuation may be a problem.  I do need help organizing my ideas.  
 — Muzatsu

absolute garbage.
the thesaurus won't make a good poem,
sorry bud.
 — unknown

Well thanks for such constructive criticism.
 — Muzatsu

Recently Commented (expand)
0.45s