poetry critical

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Jump from the dock
if you are here for a purpose.
I believe, my friend,
that you assume too much.
When I first popped your top
the scent of you
hit me
Since then
I drive fast
hoping not
to get caught.
My friends said goodbye
while handing me
I said hello
to the last of the
I believe that you
assume too much.
Alone means
without you,
my fermented

9 Mar 07

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No comments?
 — unknown

Whiskey has a Y in it, you might want to change the title.

Whiskey doesn't have a pop top, does it?  None that I've ever seen, so that line can't be right.  I also think that the last line should be friend, not failure.

This is confusing because alcohol has no assumptions.  Who is doing the assuming here?  I'm not even sure what the dock has to do with being drunk.

Perhaps this is a little too personal.  
 — Isabelle5

Whisky can be spelled with or without an "e". Popping the top off has nothing to do with having a pop top. If I unscrew the lid I can say I popped the top off. Alcohol is no one's friend. You will allow alcohol to be personified by calling it friend, but you won't let it assume anything? Alcohol is free to assume all it wants. Maybe it should be more clear that we might be throwing bottles into the river. This isn't that personal.
 — unknown

Any suggestions for making this more clear?
 — unknown