poetry critical

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Spring 2007 is quintessentially you

Make me laugh with your alabaster
erotic firguerines,
your puerile humour,
good taste- you disregard as rumour
in your off-kilter jokes
the best that you can muster.
Go on: Tease my impassive mouth into a smile
with your hopeless inability to compile
a basic text without serious error.
The English you devise, the linguists terror!
I remember once, aided by predictive text,
you tried to say you’d like to see me in less
and ‘lacy lingerie’ became ‘laundere’
it tickles me how distinctively you err!
And I truly believe possible the strangest things
when you tell with such conviction
your unadulterated dreams,
so that I really could have faith in love
and luck, and life, without the rub.
So make me laugh with your percolator
coffee (that you murder),
with your alligator
(that you swear all straight men wear)
All your idiosyncrasies without compare.

7 Mar 07

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firguerines?  Take off the "first letter cap" function on your computer.

It's tough to tell where your thoughts begin and end since you have not made much use of periods at the end of things.  

Lines 18-25 are just too fluffy and I can't make sense of them.  Did you mean to say "coffee that your murder?"  

I sense the arrogant laughter at this pompous person's expense but it's really hard to tell what the actual impact of this poem should be.  
 — Isabelle5

I wanted this to come across as more of a  tender  tone than an arrogant mocking one so I wonder if it has a different impact on anyone else.
 — skyline