poetry critical

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ONE SECOND
unknown

the world slows down preparing for a complete stop as i pass him in the hall, only wanting a glance, i looked over at him as he looked over at me, also refusing to turn away. we were the only ones who moved at all, everyone else was frozen in place. his eyes so brown, almost to dark to tell from his pupil, i never wanted to look away, but in one second, no longer, he walked on and everyone around us unfroze, and mi head looked down to the floor only wishing to relive that moment when i looked up
 1

4 Mar 07


(define the words in this poem)



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Comments:

typo - "mi head", "my head"...

I like how you're capturing the moment, I think you could improve the readability by using some line breaks.
 — rocket

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