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*.* lost_to_all
exparadise

i make red puddles010111010100
 1
while hanging011010010000
 2
upside down from candles0110100101
 3
she'd only need a commadore64
 4
*.*everything.gone.wrong
 5
&&%$^n^e^v^e^r***again
 6
xxchromosomesmakedifficult
 7
untilboy/showboy/cryboy/
 8
fuckedallup
 9
{curledallup}shadows hide outlines
 10
(you'd)(see)(right)(through)(me)
 11
{exclaim!}toofuckedandburiedtolook
 12
at*your*shit*faced*mumbled*lies
 13
*&itwillbegone
 14
***nevertoosoon
 15
*******ifeveragainyoufeellove
 16
*********fuckedalltosee
 17
**********liedtoseeme
 18
##you'vebeenfree to G O whenever
 19
myprobingeyeshavetoldthetruth
 20
   for     quite      some    time
 21
your boy will hurt
 22
atyourcruelheartedhatred
 23
{{{exclaim!!!}}}whycantyoushapeup
 24
(a[answer]=sheissicksheis)
 25
thengoaway
 26
andtakeyourshitwithyou
 27

19 Nov 03

Rated 6 (6.7) by 5 users.
Active (5): 1, 3, 5, 10, 10
Inactive (7): 2, 5, 6, 8, 8, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(54 more poems by this author)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)
asalways
cali86



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Comments:

You are a wicked, wicked poet - term used loosely.
 — Isabelle5

interesting
 — unknown

I like it because it's different.
 — unknown

And angry.
 — unknown

I like the *.* in the title, but other than that it's not that exciting. You've done the style better before, exparadise.
 — semaj

+favorite.
 — OKcomputer

hmmm


hmmmmmmm


yeah I think I just don't get this but I'm working at it....
Bits of it I like a lot... the exclaim bit is cool but ummm

yeah
I dunno
you make me scratch me head a lot. i hate when that happens ;)

XxXx
 — Minx

Kinda hard to understand...
 — TaurusXbabi5

I don't like this because its one big load of ill considered shit by someone who is obviously a person with time on their hands . Do us all a favour and get busy
 — larrylark

this looks like you stole it from an away mesage.. ehats the poin of the  010101 and***  ##?? It just makes the poem look messy and.. bad
 — TaurusXbabi5

I still like it :)
 — OKcomputer

Needs a lot of work.
 — unknown

haha this one makes me laugh! Innovative, but a bit repetative later on. Also, hard to read...?
 — cuishanying

it is... like abstarct poetry...not everyone gets it... but I think I do... and like abstract paintings its a feeling more then anything and you can't critque feelings....
 — unknown

that's deep shit
 — unknown

You should re-read this, I think theres some glaring typos
 — mr_e

It's like a bad cross between [runscript] Fucking Run and a teenage emo poem.  The various tags and text decorations are metaphorically miniature road hazards and obnoxious to sift through. The lack of spaces or spaces collecting between words is annoying and unneeded. As for the poem between all these, it is a bit cliche and the cussing weakens it.
 — FangzOfFire

anal sex is great
 — unknown

Dont get it...
 — SaleenDriva

huh? so this is code for robots having sex right?
 — modioperandi

GOD!
 — unknown

Never mind being lost to all, your creativity is a law unto its own lost perspective. This is awful.
Fuckyou0000010
youhurtme1010101
withthispiece"%$&*
youcallpoetry&&&&&
Nolongercan:::::
mypooreyessee&%
sotakeyour"poem"
awayfromme
 — marieF

How come the two poets who have this down as a favourite haven't even bothered to comment and how come there are so many ten ratings? In fact you have more ratings by far than comments. Very strange, hmmm!
 — marieF

Marie,
I'd like to thank you for your critique but you didn't actually critique anything.  I'm glad you have an opinion and I value that opinion but I honestly don't know why you would mock me and curse at me.  Did my poem offend you in some way?  Just by reacting to it so strongly you actually flattered me by showing that my words left an impact (an impact, even if negative, is better than nothing).  

And I don't know why those two people didn't comment, and I don't know why anyone would give this a ten.  It certainly doesn't deserve it.  If you are trying to hint at the idea that I rated my own poem or made my own poem a favorite then maybe you should go look at most the ratings i get for most my poems.  The ratings certainly are not high... then again maybe I'm rating my own poems low, also, as to cover up my secret rating identities.  

Anyway, thanks for reading... and maybe if you are going to be so harsh about my poetry you should post some of your own since you must be a poetic genius yourself.
 — exparadise

as bizarre as this sounds, i really love this. i read a short book a couple years ago in the same style.. wish i knew what it was called.
 — unknown

*beep*

code failure #0002c - plea.. .eboot s.stem

/run {..terminate..}

*beep*
 — Mongrol

exparadise, I owe you an apology for being so harsh and you have my respect now for your reply alone. You acted far more adult than I did and I am sorry. I think I must have been having a bad day.
As for my poetry. If you see my profile you should see that I have 17 poems posted but I post them as unknown because I have a stalker who likes to write paedohile comments under anything I post. I will be sure to let you know if you come across one and comment that it is mine.
As for your poem, I think it must be my personal taste that I don't like this modern art style of putting all sorts of random numbers and stuff in. I don't see the point you are trying to make with it.
I find it very hard to read with all the letters mashed together. I'm sure if you wrote it with the same words minus the weird random things and the words broken up from one another you would still make a statement but far more effectively.
Anyway, thanks for challenging my bad attitude and I am genuinely sorry. Marie x
 — marieF

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